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trigger - domestic abuse, how to manage

(2 Posts)
jayho Thu 02-Mar-17 20:10:43


Something happened yesterday that threw me back six years. A man shouted at me in my house, he used the same words my ex used to abuse me with. I stood my ground at the time but left the house for work and then collapsed.

I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. Usually, I would sweat, have a racing heart and want to void my bowels (sorry tmi). This time I was sweating and freezing, I had tingling in my hands, legs and face, I knew I wasn't getting enough oxygen and that if I didn't get it under control I would pass out. With the support of a wonderful colleague I managed it after about 45 mins.

I'm so angry. Angry that the behaviour of my ex has this far a reach and with myself that I hadn't considered what impact other people's behaviour might have on me. I've had counseling and support to recover from his abuse. Ive felt in a good positive place. But when someone else behaved the same way it completely triggered me.

I've never really understood the word before yesterday but it was exactly that, this stranger's behaviour pushed me straight back into the awful place my ex had me like he'd shot a gun.

What can I do and how can I manage this? I'm really lucky that my employer has support services in place to help me and they have already been offered. But, I know I need to ask for the right thing and I'm lost. I've dealt with the abuse from him and my relationship with him, it is behind me, this is about how I cope with a world where this can happen randomly.

any help gratefully received.

Enough101 Fri 03-Mar-17 05:26:15

Hi Op, have you tried CBT at all. This can really help with panic attacks that are triggered as you have had? I have had it a couple of times and it os helpful. It wont necessarily stop an attack being triggered, but it can help you to bring thr situation back down to a manageable state quite quickly. Your GP should be able to refer you.

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