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Getting over someone you were never with

(10 Posts)
Bekkka Wed 01-Mar-17 21:44:14

Any advice on how to get over someone you see on a regular basis that you know for sure there is no chance that anything will ever happen?

It's not like I actually want something to ever happen by the way, but when you have someone in your heart, it is very difficult to take them out of there! I guess time is the answer really?heals all?

newchapterforme Wed 01-Mar-17 21:45:55

Similar situation so no advice but I wish you the best!

Scribblegirl Wed 01-Mar-17 21:49:14

Distance.

It's an addiction, it really is. You have to take yourself away from the people and places that remind you of them.

Horrid. But it's do-able. I promise. Once upon a time I truly felt I could never be with anyone again and now I'm more in love - proper love - than I ever thought I could be. But as long as they're in your life, in any way, you can't open that door. flowers

Bluefluff Wed 01-Mar-17 21:50:21

This happened to a good friend of mine years ago. She found someone else who made her very happy, she has made a life with him and has never looked back. I imagine he will always mean something to her, but she's able to live her life now without constantly thinking 'what if'.

Lilacpink40 Wed 01-Mar-17 21:52:17

Are you having the full on heart feels like it's been grated by cheese greater pain (though that's usually at end of an actual relationship) or more pangs of wistfulness pain (prob more likely)?

Time heals, as does talking and finding excitement in new things. He probably has lots of annoying habits that you'll be glad you don't need to see. Imagine he snores and farts all night?

Moanyoldcow Wed 01-Mar-17 21:59:16

I found out that a good friend of mine had feelings for my husband. We had all been good friends before he and I got together.

I suspected she didn't think we'd get serious and she'd 'wait it out'.

Obviously we didn't break up and she never said anything to me. I could never work out why she was so strained with me until I found out in a very convoluted way.

I happened to move away around the time I found out and allowed our friendship to lapse. I think the only way she could get over it is to not have him in her life. It was years before I realised how painful she found it all.

If you can stop seeing the person it will go a long way to help I'm sure. Good luck - it's so hard getting over someone you have deep feelings for.

Bekkka Wed 01-Mar-17 22:03:15

It's the latter.

Sometimes it can get a bit much for me but I see him everyday (work) so I do believe that is why it is tough.

I've done all that 'imagine him on the toilet' stuff, doesn't bother me which definitely means I have had it bad for him! We are pals too so I guess that is probably making it difficult, some sort of relationship there!

It's tough to stop as the butterfly feeling is definitely addictive!

Lilacpink40 Wed 01-Mar-17 22:38:50

You have the capacity to really be interested in someone. Unrequited love is painful, but redirecting the interest/ love at a later date can be positive.

ImperialBlether Wed 01-Mar-17 22:46:50

So is he/are you with someone else?

Bekkka Wed 01-Mar-17 23:26:01

Yep, this is the reason it has been so painful. I didn't want to say that in this thread as I was worried you all would think I was after someone else's guy. I'm not and would never have acted on these feelings.I think I was affected way more than him as it seemed the feelings were mutual at some point , we had a conversation and both decided to forget we ever had the conversation but it still affects me that I ever felt anything for him in the first place. It was a silly crush which caused nothing but stress. I'm not sure it's a good idea to stay friends, not because anything would ever happen but seeing him is a constant reminder. That's why I think contact needs to be cut!

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