Just wondering if anyone has any tips on getting over the sheer waste of money that goes to solicitors in a divorce. My ExW is unwilling to negotiate on the financial side of things so it's going to a final hearing....
Total costs between us will end up in the region of £25,000.
Thats £25,000 less for either of us to spend on the kids, on our lives. Just absolutely crazy, and I'm sure it could be easily negotiated.
My exh took me to court as he wanted residency of our girls; £20k each later and he lost! It wasn't a waste of money ultimately as I have residency but bloody hell things would have been better if he could have seen that two girls under 4 really need their mum (they need their dad too I know and was willing for every other weekend and more than half the holidays as he moved 160 miles away) but anger makes people act so irrationally!
Op I am in exact same position except it's exh who will not settle. We have been quoted similar. I just don't know what to do. Have you had any other advice? I have been told I can't contact him due to a history of abuse and his poor previous behaviour and bullying tendencies
It is frustrating, and since there is to be no negotiation, therefore unavoidable. The way to look at it is this: If you accept whatever his offer is, is the cost of the final hearing more than you could gain? If so, then accept, unless it is financial Bullying and sets a precedent for him to dictate finances for the rest of your children's childhood. For me, I went in knowing only half of the situation on the principle of not taking any more financial bullying, thinking the cos would be about £7k to me, and it would be a cost neutral process, but as it turned out he had lied about a lot, and I ended up approx £60k better off than had I just rolled over
I was in the same position last year. Compromise to avoid 3rd Hearing, not only is it costly it is a horrible experience. Cut your losses and move on. The emotional benefit will far outweigh the financial. Good luck
awishes - in some ways I wish I could do that but the only offers to come through are such a ridiculous amount of money I'd have no money at all and I need some for the care of the kids. The pension amounts are skewing things so I'd have to cash them in.
Everyone's circumstances are different but if she is the resident parent, are you sure that you are being realistic and also are you listening to the legal advice you are receiving? I ask as my exh held out for much more than he was entitled to and he was disappointed after the final hearing.
A very old friend of mine is a divorce lawyer in london. The stories ive heard over the years......! It is a complete waste of money and isnt helped by brinkmanship. Sadly £25,000 isnt actuAlly that much.