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The no contact rule

(13 Posts)
Anonymoususer1938 Tue 28-Feb-17 18:00:03

I'm struggling a bit with it at the moment as all I can think about is my ex. This ex has been unkind to me and has broken up with me about 4 times in a 6 year relationship. We broke up about 3 months ago and there's been no communication since. I'm sticking with it thus far and there really is nothing to get in touch about as I don't think I need closure as on the last break up I said things that needed saying and got it off my chest.
But I just wish I didn't have to have them on my mind morning, noon and night. I'm pretty sure it's limerance and I think the on/off nature of the relationship has exacerbated it.
I'm also wondering if visiting this discussion board (and other similar ones although very supportive and full of lovely,helpful people) keeps me stuck a bit on the break up and maybe in some weird way almost represents a form of contact in my mind as it keeps the ex at the forefront of it.
Cod psychology I know but I wonder if anyone else agrees?

TheNaze73 Tue 28-Feb-17 18:47:35

These boards won't be for everyone. Some people wallow in self pity, others will see the words of support, or get a much needed kick up the arse that they need from sone of the franker posters. Each to their own

Anonymoususer1938 Tue 28-Feb-17 19:02:38

Sorry I'm not criticising this forum. I think it's brilliant and I've picked up some inspiring nuggets from
It. But perhaps by visiting it as I do it is in some way keeping my ex and our breakup at the forefront of my mind ?

BonnyScotland Tue 28-Feb-17 20:04:09

get yourself a good book ... plonk yourself down and enjoy x

Anonymoususer1938 Wed 01-Mar-17 13:59:43

haha...god I wish it was that easy.

humanfemale Thu 02-Mar-17 18:43:58

Natalie Lue (Baggage Reclaim blog) has written a book about this exact thing. It's called The No Contact Rule and is available online I think. Haven't read it but I LOVE Natalie Lue in general, she's brilliant

Anonymoususer1938 Thu 02-Mar-17 21:22:49

Thanks for the recommendation. I think I just miss the flakey c*nt. I know I shouldn't but there you go.
Nowt strange as folk I suppose.

Trills Thu 02-Mar-17 21:28:08

Could you go on some different internet discussion boards and talk about some other topic?

I find "thinking about something else" is good if you are trying to avoid thinking about a particular topic.

Anonymoususer1938 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:35:19

It's suddenly dawned on me today that where I'm going wrong is that I'm wilfully trying to NOT think about my ex, and therefore I find it impossible to do. Then I start beating myself up for not being successful.
Therefore I've decided that I won't try anymore to stop thinking of ex and just let my brain get on with it.
It's the trying not to think of it that's stressing me out......if that makes sense.

Anonymoususer1938 Fri 03-Mar-17 20:51:59

I'm being a tit aren't I.

Anonymoususer1938 Fri 03-Mar-17 20:53:24

I wonder if that's how Einstein cracked the atom? Simply tried to stop thinking about it and then....Hey Presto....E=MC sq

InTheMoodForLove Sat 04-Mar-17 07:21:12

when you split any of those 6 times, how long where you apart for? Where you NC then?
Maybe 3 months is not long enough just yet, a part of you still think this is yet just another break?

Anonymoususer1938 Sat 04-Mar-17 07:52:09

Yes you have hit the nail on the head.
Thank you.
My brain is telling me 'it's over, move on'
but my heart....my yearning heart.... is saying: 'I'm sure to hear from them again'
Previous breaks have been up to 6 months.

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