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Feel like splitting from my DH as he's gone back on his word

(9 Posts)
ShimmyOhoh Tue 28-Feb-17 14:16:13

DH and I decided about a year ago that we were going to save up to a certain point, ready to then get a business loan and start up a business. We had something in mind that we were going to set up.

We've spent the last year saving and I was really looking forward to starting up the business but he's decided he doesn't want to do it now. He always ends up with the final say about everything and as far as he's concerned that's the end of that!

It's not the first thing he's done it over; he always ends up changing his mind about things and then I have to compromise.

Obviously we had researched the business idea incredibly thoroughly, and done lots of things to get ready to start it. And now...this!! I think it could have been a good long term thing to do and could have made us a decent income in time.

I am so annoyed I'm actually thinking of splitting up with him over it. sad

ShimmyOhoh Tue 28-Feb-17 15:54:15


WatchingFromTheWings Tue 28-Feb-17 15:56:44

Use your half of the money to start up a business on your own?

Happybunny19 Tue 28-Feb-17 16:10:51

Good idea watchingfromthewings. But op I think his attitude towards unilaterally deciding what's best is unhealthy and would push most people to the edge. I don't blame you for wanting to throw in the towel flowers

WannaBe Tue 28-Feb-17 16:19:21

What's the reason he's given for not wanting to start up the business any more?

Would it have e.g. Involved resigning from current paid employment for instance, in which case could it be that he's feeling insecure about that?

I'm currently in the position of helping my DP set up a business, and I'll admit that it's been hard as he's the one with reservations/anxieties about things whereas I've wanted to run my own business for ever so I'm kind of living vicariously. blush but even with research there's a lot to consider, and it's something we're only in a position to do atm because he's working so if it doesn't work out we can let it go iyswim.

Are you in a position to be able to start the business without him? What kind of business is it?

SandyY2K Tue 28-Feb-17 17:06:04

Has he given any reasons /valid reasons for changing his mind?

I agree that assuming everything else in your relationship is sound, then you should start a business yourself with half the money, or save longer to start the same business on your own.

Is it a business you can do without him? Without his knowledge or expertise?

Jazzywazzydodah Tue 28-Feb-17 17:10:03

Hello shimmy I'd do it with out him. I've seen countless friends let the man 'take the lead' to bitterly regret it from having children to finances.

Life is so short and I wouldn't let some one tell me I can't do something.

MatildaTheCat Tue 28-Feb-17 17:21:10

If he's always changing his mind and you are always the one compromised by this then I'm not surprised you feel like leaving. What are his reasons and is there any room for negotiation?

Adora10 Tue 28-Feb-17 17:33:30

Nah, life too short to play second fiddle to someone else's point of view; I'd throw in the towel, that's utterly despicable what he has done.

Why do you allow him to control and basically tell you what's happening, like your opinion is irrelevant, so in other words, he thinks you are, nah, sorry, I'd be making him irrelevant, bloody cheek.

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