Ok so this is it...
My fiancé is a motorsports photographer and last week he was on a job and a client urgently needed him to send a photo over. As he was unable to send it he asked me to. No problem at all. The photo was on his hard drive, he gave me all of the instructions and job done. I started looking at his older photography work on the hard drive, mostly being nosey but feeling proud at how far he has come over the years.
Then I saw an unnamed folder and I opened it. I wish I hadn't. I found hundreds of naked photos of his ex girlfriend, all of them incredibly graphic and some including him having sex with her. Within the folder were also photos from other 'conquests', (all sexual photos) including photos of a 'friend'.
I lost it. Completely and utterly broke down. The issue I have here is that he has looked at them all recently. While I have been in the house, after I have gone to bed.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that men will be men and sometimes they look at porn etc. That I have no issue with. In this instance they are people from his past, and people that are very much in our lives right now. All of the photos were received before we got together as well.
I feel completely betrayed by him. I asked him why and he said it was 'an ego thing'? That he had never been "a hit with the ladies" when he was younger and he looks at the photos from time to time to make himself feel better. I am so completely confused as surely he shouldn't need to do that as he has me now.
It is so hard to not take this personally. My immediate reaction was, 'what am I not doing that is driving him to this, what can I do to stop him doing these things'; which I know isn't right. All I keep thinking is that in the moments when he is feeling horny (urgh hate that word!), instead of coming to me, he has chosen to look at those photos for gratification.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to end things with him as I truly believe we are stronger than this but I can't stop seeing those photos and I can't stop the hurt.
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Relationships
Naked photos of his past
Frank87 · 28/02/2017 11:08
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