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Gray rock not working with Narc Ex

(19 Posts)
donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 15:45:52

I have been persevering with this now for approx 6 months and am about to cave in and release a tirade of abuse at him to fuck off.

When will he stop?

He has even had a police warning for harassment - so he doesn't contact me directly anymore and all my family have blocked him, even his children have blocked him but he still finds ways to contact us.

He does it all under the guise of just being a regular Dad desperate to see his children but it is all to yank my chain he doesn't care a toss about his children (have posted loads of times about him).

ChinChinCaroo Mon 27-Feb-17 15:46:48

Have you asked Women's Aid?

HecateAntaia Mon 27-Feb-17 15:48:20

if you give in now then all that says to him is carry on for 6 months and you'll respond.
which means you wasted the last 6 months trying to show that he is nothing to you.
if you snap - he wins.

how is he contacting you? can you find a way to block that too?

Hissy Mon 27-Feb-17 15:48:46

Report him to the police every single time.

Look into getting a non molestation order

The links above relationships have details of how to protect yourself from abusive arseholes

All the best, stay strong.

xStefx Mon 27-Feb-17 15:49:03

What other ways is he using? Is it worth informing the police that he is subtly trying to ignore their request and still playing funny buggers. He is trying to see how far he can push it, don't let him.

Hissy Mon 27-Feb-17 15:49:33

And absolutely do not contact him for any reason.

What Hecate says is exactly true.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Mon 27-Feb-17 15:50:57

Just get a restraining order

donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 15:53:06

yes god thank you you are all absolutely right - i hadn't thought of that!

He contacts friends and family that haven't blocked him and says it's not harassment because all he wants is to see his children. (I was not trying to stop him before although i am now for a few reasons the main one being the children don't want to go and i am also concerned for his mental health WRT to the children)

He recently reported me to school and said he wanted them to report me to SS (he has already reported me and got no where).

It's just relentless and feels never-ending i just want it to stop.

He has done so much damaging stuff - there really is something wrong with him.

iremembericod Mon 27-Feb-17 15:53:20

Keep going

donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 15:53:39

Can you contact woman aid if there has been no reported violence? don't want to waste their time?

Destinysdaughter Mon 27-Feb-17 15:58:42

You can also get free legal advice here:

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/advice-lines/

xStefx Mon 27-Feb-17 15:59:15

It will stop, don't show him your crumbling or he will start a stronger campaign to pull you down. Contact police and tell them he is bothering other members of the family. If he knows your not gonna out up with it he may back down.

donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 16:08:38

ok thank you so much for all that info.

thing is he clouds the issue by saying it's because he wants to see the children. He could have seen the children whenever he liked but would never agree a time/day.

What ever day i say he will say no the next etc Obviously there is loads more to it and i have posted a lot of times about the things he has done.

donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 16:10:01

Basically we are trying to make him go to court so he has to agree to set times.

But he won't as he doesn't want to pay a penny if its to do with the children. Plus he has no actual intention of seeing the children anyway whilst putting the blame on me

Hissy Mon 27-Feb-17 16:12:58

How old are the dc? If they don't want to see him, that's kind of their decision.

Are your friends pressuring you? If so, tell them the truth and tell them that if they want to carry on being his mouthpiece, that's fine, but not with you.

donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 16:14:49

The children are 13 and 10.

All my friends and family absolutely hate him even his own family not sticking up for him everyone says the same thing 'he isn't listening' no one knows what to do with him.

jeaux90 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:02:00

My ex is a narc. Block him completely. Ignore him absolutely and let him take you to court. All comms go through your solicitor.

I know it's tempting to go postal on them but if you do they win (it will escalate again)

You have my full sympathy. Stay strong x

donners312 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:11:22

Thank you - i am glad i have posted as you are absolutely right reminding me!

drspouse Mon 27-Feb-17 17:29:35

Can you make sure all friends/family are on board re. all communications going through solicitor? Maybe give them a script to copy and paste/say to him if he phones?

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