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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How often do you have sex?

62 replies

boobiebaps · 27/02/2017 10:53

I'm in my late twenties, have DCS and very little sex with DH. How much should I be settling for? We have it around once every 3 weeks. We have it and then I crave it more; DH seems then to be satisfied, for sometimes a whole month! I feel I'm young and fertile, I want to develop sexually and express it more, I really enjoy sex and the closeness it creates between DH and I. What should I expect here? How often do you do it and how old are you?

OP posts:

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Kikikaakaa · 27/02/2017 11:12

Mid 30's and once a week. Don't live together which explains it

Some weeks I would happily do it more some I don't want to at all much.

What isn't as sexy is scheduled sex, it does bug me. I have to wait until that particular time or be up for it on that night, both can be frustrating. Kids completely kill my vibe a lot of the time. Mine aren't little so I would worry they would hear us. We not ready for that yet, it makes my body and mind shut down!

In my other relationships sex always varied, from hardly anything with DC father to A Lot with one boyfriend.

You should have sex as much or as little as you like! Just tell him when you do!

SiestaFiesta · 27/02/2017 11:18

See with questions like these it will always depend on whether the couple live together, age, length of relationship, age of, other stresses going on dc etc etc. There is no right or wrong answer but what matters is if you aren't feeling happy with it. Have you spoken to your dp how you feel?

SiestaFiesta · 27/02/2017 11:19

age of dc, other stresses going on that's meant to read.

TWOBANANAS · 27/02/2017 11:19

Twice a day, every day.

RasperryInAMelon · 27/02/2017 11:21

At least once a week and I'm 27 weeks pregnant. Before pregnancy it would have been 2-3 times a week. We're 28 and 30 no DC until DD arrives in May. Then it could be whole new story!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 27/02/2017 11:22

Sometimes a couple of times a week, sometimes not for a couple of months. I've been married for 15 years though and am on anxiety meds that have killed my libido, and DH is crippled by arthritis so is in pain constantly.

TheTartOfAsgard · 27/02/2017 11:23

I only see DP once a week so mostly spend all day in bed

AndnoneforGretchenWeinersBye · 27/02/2017 11:26

Hijacks thread to wave at Andnone

miserablemolly · 27/02/2017 11:29

As little as possible. Zero interest and only do it because I feel I should. 5 weeks since we last had sex so I probably need to get it done this week.

DrDreReturns · 27/02/2017 11:30

About once a week. We are in our early forties.

SadWife17 · 27/02/2017 11:31

Never really. Maybe a couple of times a year. It's making me want to leave him. It feels utterly unlovable and hideous because of it. DH just has no interest at all.

wobblywonderwoman · 27/02/2017 11:32

Once a week, two very young dcs and shift work so not always possible to go for it more..

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 27/02/2017 11:34

Hello fellow Mean Girls fan!

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 27/02/2017 11:35

We are both 40's, 1 dc. We have sex about once a week, we'd both like it more but we both work full time and dd still wakes at night ( she's only 6 months)

Pinkheart5915 · 27/02/2017 11:38

I'm in my 20s, dh is in his 30s and we have 2 dc.

We have sex every couple of days, it's not always a session lasting hours sometimes it's a quicker on the sofa/kitchen side but it's always good pre dc we use to have sex a couple of times a day

SaudadeObama · 27/02/2017 11:39

This really depends on the couple. There is no ideal amount. At the moment it's 2-3 times a week. We're both in a good place sexually/actively/esteem wise . Late 30's/early 40's and youngest is 4 so we have time/energy. It is not always like this, different circumstances have meant it's been more or less at times.

boobiebaps · 27/02/2017 12:06

To those who have it around once a week: do you plan it in or does it just happen naturally?

OP posts:

RyanStartedTheFire · 27/02/2017 12:14

Early 20's, two DC under 4 and we still have sex at least 4 times a week. Ideally we have sex every day, but sometimes we fall asleep before we get chance!

MrsGB2225 · 27/02/2017 12:18

Early 30s and 4 times a week on average.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 27/02/2017 12:18

No we don't plan it, I think we are both just missing sex after around a week so it happens naturally. I can't think of anything worse than marking on the calendar Wednesday is Shag day

MrsPMT · 27/02/2017 12:21

Once a week if possible, find it easier to have it planned as have DC. We make it like date night. We are mid-forties with 12yr old child.

katiemarnie · 27/02/2017 12:22

Late 40's and every other day. Kids are all pretty much grown up though.

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Imi22sleeping · 27/02/2017 12:26

This iswhen i know i have a problem when i read things like this i literally gag at the people saying every day and think how hideous for you or in the kitchen bok. I hate sex i want another baby so i no i n3d to make an effort but god i hate it

OnionKnight · 27/02/2017 12:27

Twice a week, both in early thirties with no kids.

Esoteric · 27/02/2017 12:27

Mid 50s and maybe once every 3 weeks or so, although DH sorts himself out maybe once or twice a week with me there , I'm really not fussed, have been married 21 years, active that way since 15 and to be honest could totally live without it

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