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The romance is dead

(7 Posts)
Cmajmp Sun 26-Feb-17 21:31:32

So I don't really know what to do. The romance in our relationship has gone. I feel like we're more like house mates. We don't do anything anymore and we never have sex. We rarely eat dinner together! We still have a laugh and a joke together but it just feels like we are friends. Every time I bring up into conversation we don't have sex much he says he's tired from working alot which I do understand ! I just don't know how to get that spark back?! Any suggestions would be great

scoobydoo1971 Sun 26-Feb-17 21:44:59

Go on holiday. It doesn't have to be anything fancy...a mini-break in the UK, a package holiday in Spain...whatever your budget, even a night in a hotel.

Cmajmp Sun 26-Feb-17 21:53:27

We have a holiday booked in August. We don't have any time before then to go away. We also have a 10 month old daughter! It just feels like he's not interested in me anymore and I'm at the point of ending things if it doesn't change .

Suchagoodusername Sun 26-Feb-17 22:23:07

I could of written your post op I feel the exact same way just now. I feel so lonely and sad atm I have tried to talk to dh and he shrugs it off saying well he is happy and he is working so much to provide for us. We are due to go away just ourselves in a couple of weeks and I'm dreading it tbh it's to somewhere I have always wanted to go and I feel like it's not going to be as special because it's like I will be away with a roommate.

Cmajmp Sun 26-Feb-17 22:29:02

Sorry to hear that suchagoodusername. My oh says the same thing that he's happy and providing for us. I'm a sahm and he's working all the hours he can. If I'm honest I'd prefer to have a little less money and him to be less tired! He's currently snoring away next to me and I just want to cry !

Suchagoodusername Sun 26-Feb-17 22:33:26

Hugs cmajmp flowers i have been crying all night! I am a sahm too and every now and then I get that thrown in my face as well I feel like we are drifting further and further apart these days. I would happily have less money and spend time together as a family and be happy sad

HeddaGarbled Sun 26-Feb-17 22:37:29

"Spark" and "romance" do go when you have a 10 month old. Life isn't like the movies. But they should mutate into a deeper love and companionship.

Sex often goes off the boil after having children. You're both tired, you have other priorities short term. However, some men do seem to have issues with still finding the mothers of their children sexually attractive. Not sure which you are dealing with here. I think, so long as you are still having sex sometimes, I wouldn't panic yet.

I don't think it's good that you aren't eating dinner together and that you don't do things together. That is the way that couples drift apart. What can you do to change this?

Life changes, marriages change, when you have children. Don't worry about spark and romance. Aim for love and supporting each other while you deal with this massive life step.

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