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When you see your ex on Facebook and wish you hadn't...

(26 Posts)
mylongawaitedlife Sun 26-Feb-17 17:30:34

Just that really. When I met my ex he was in debt and spent the majority of his time on the sofa playing video games without friends. I improved him, but I feel he has taken 'my' things, things that are quintessentially me, and now parades himself around as though they are 'his' things. It irks me to see photos pop up where he is doing a string of hobbies and they are all things I introduced him to. Unreasonable? Possibly. Whatever. Grr.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 Sun 26-Feb-17 17:32:28

You improved him?! You clearly didnt deem him to be good enough, so why look for him? Are you unhappy atm?

understandnothing Sun 26-Feb-17 17:33:26

Can you block him?

One2another Sun 26-Feb-17 17:36:43

Im the same i can't help but look and I get pissed off to see him out living the batch of life while not giving two hoots about his kids.
He's late for them or says he's unwell and they get introduced to a succession of new gfs.
I hate fb for this reason and I know I shouldn't look but I can't help it.

Shockers Sun 26-Feb-17 17:36:47

Did you finish the relationship? If so, he'd probably annoy you, even with your 'improvements' (grin) still in place.

Block and move on!

Buzzardbird Sun 26-Feb-17 17:38:23

You 'completed' him obviously. He is finished now. Well done.

ChicRock Sun 26-Feb-17 17:39:02

This happens quite often with women who take on a lame duck and sort him out for his next girlfriend.

Block him and spend some time thinking about why you took on some kind of project as a relationship - because someone who sat on the sofa all day playing video games surely can't have been attractive to you?

The attraction was in him being a "fixer upper" so work out why that's what you chose, and don't do it again.

HerOtherHalf Sun 26-Feb-17 17:40:53

Get over it, he's an ex. Stop torturing yourself over someone that is no longer a factor in your life.

JK1773 Sun 26-Feb-17 17:46:32

I don't know why you'd even look. I blocked my ex on FB the day I left and I've never ever been tempted to unblock him. I don't want him knowing anything about my life now and I have zero interest in his

mylongawaitedlife Sun 26-Feb-17 17:47:50

grin it's not torture, just an annoyance. Yes, when I met him I had low self esteem, and literally everyone who knew both of us continually questioned why on earth I was with him, but it took me ages to see him and longer to extricate myself as he owed me money. I can see it all clear as crystal with hindsight! - and yes really do hope I wouldn't make the same mistake again. He's not on my Facebook, but on a friend's which is how I've seen the pictures pop up. I"m incapacitated at the moment so not able to do this particular hobby, and it's something he never would have gone and done without me introducing him to it (as he never did anything new).. shockers yes, yes he would thank you, no chance of going back there grin

abbsisspartacus Sun 26-Feb-17 17:49:53

Sympathies flowers my ex is a knob since we split he is working and has a social life my big bugbear was we never travelled because he hated it now he travels all over the country for work and he loves it

Part of me thinks he shouldn't enjoy life it should be me! But that's just how it is

neweymcnewname Sun 26-Feb-17 17:51:47

Block him, and try to move on. Its none of your business what he does.

troodiedoo Sun 26-Feb-17 17:55:07

Regina George in mean girls springs to mind: "I like, invented her!" šŸ˜‚

Lochan Sun 26-Feb-17 17:55:15

But if you "improved" him why don't you just feel proud that his life is better because of you?

Even if he turned out not to be nice - you still did a good thing!

And to be fair the hobbies were your thing but they are now also his thing. Would you like him to put up a sign informing everyone of your role? grin.

I understand you're feeling down because you are incapacitated but it's not his fault is it?

TheNaze73 Sun 26-Feb-17 17:58:22

Surely your work is done, if you improved him?

mylongawaitedlife Sun 26-Feb-17 18:02:44

Would you like him to put up a sign informing everyone of your role? grin

Yes, that would be great wink

mylongawaitedlife Sun 26-Feb-17 18:04:41

Lochan you are far more magnanimous than I!

why don't you just feel proud that his life is better because of you? probably because of the way it ended, he was pretty manipulative then threatening when I tried to leave and is still irks me I was with hi in the first place

Anyway, as others have said I'm better off devoting my energy to new things not re-hashing past mistakes

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 26-Feb-17 18:08:34

I know how you feel. An ex of mine from 20 something years ago pops up now and again on other old friends' posts. Bearing in mind he pretended to be a lot more intelligent than he actually was and dumped me using a string of lies as an excuse to cover his cheating, it's somewhat galling to find him touted as a shining example of liberal, feminist intelligensia.
I know he's really a pompous twat but have (so far) resisted from commenting as such. My FB name would not be familiar to him and profile pic is my dog, so he'd never work out who I really was without asking.

Lochan Sun 26-Feb-17 18:10:46

You are looking at this the wrong way Mylong he is an arse but the fact that he is now a more social capable arse is all down to your fabulousness!

grin

mylongawaitedlife Sun 26-Feb-17 18:15:14

Harriet exactly that sort of thing, I wouldn't dream of posting, if anything it would be to warn other unsuspecting females to run a freaking mile but no..

Lochan I need to hire you as my bloody life coach grin

SandyY2K Sun 26-Feb-17 19:00:50

What a strange post. Just let it go and move on.

Even if you 'improved' him, he's kept up the improvement for himself.

I personally wouldn't be with someone who was so low in his life, like you think he was when you met.

You got in there like a rescue ranger and maybe he stuck around, because you were like a therapy for him.

PoorYorick Sun 26-Feb-17 19:08:02

When I met my ex he was in debt and spent the majority of his time on the sofa playing video games without friends

What attracted you to him? Serious question.

littlefrog3 Sun 26-Feb-17 19:35:45

WOW at the OP. He's the man he is now because of meeeeeeeeeee. Bet he is pleased to be your ex tbh.

Lochan Sun 26-Feb-17 20:15:06

grin My rates are very reasonable Mylong

>> cake

HermioneJeanGranger Sun 26-Feb-17 20:27:52

Ha, I blocked my ex because seeing him have all the things I wanted with him, but with someone else, was too painful.

But, then I thought: he might have the material things I wanted, but at least I have the satisfaction of knowing I'm no longer with such a miserable fucker smile

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