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Need some advice on my relationship

(12 Posts)
AngelaLondon1234 Sun 26-Feb-17 16:47:18

Hi, This is my first post
Me and my DP broke up a year ago due he's cheating and lies! A year later (last month) We decided to get back together and get engaged (he said he will change-aren't I foolish?). I thought I forgave him and thought he had been honestly open with me but old wounds are opening again I have come across pictures he's taken with women clearly on dates whilst on holiday (while i am at home- he's been on 3 holidays without my and My DD)
I've come across old conversations and old truths I never knew about. He's out almost every night 'at the gym' until 2-3am! I've spoken to him about these issues but he responds with 'i think your mentally ill and need to see a doctor'. I cant even talk to him about anything and I am starting to feel a little bit more heartbroken each day.
I feel like I made a terrible mistake. In need of some advice? Some words of wisdom?

JK1773 Sun 26-Feb-17 16:51:46

He sounds awful. I do think you have made a mistake getting back together. He won't change and his suggestion that you are mentally unwell when you challenge him is narcissistic. Sometimes I think the past is best left in the past. I'd say get rid but I know it's not easy. You don't want to be married to a man like this

merville Sun 26-Feb-17 17:14:37

He sounds like a serial philanderer.

He's also gas lighting you. Is there anything more despicable than casting aspersions on someone's sanity/mental health when they come to go with valid questions or doubts. So common as well.
The fact that he's been caught cheating before proves that you are v sane & v sensible to be bothered by (yet more) red flags; not the opposite.

Gym til 2/3 am - I don't think so.

If you were a sister or friend of mine I'd hate him and be fervently hoping you left him.

merville Sun 26-Feb-17 17:15:18

Sorry - "come to you with valid.."

highinthesky Sun 26-Feb-17 17:16:11

Calling you mentally ill? This is the man you want to marry?

merville Sun 26-Feb-17 17:17:38

Oh and going on 3 holidays without his partner & child? He clearly likes both having a partner/family and acting the bachelor.

Holly3434 Sun 26-Feb-17 18:19:50

He must be muscley for all these trips to the gym. Yes he's cheating so when he comes home at 2am, his bags are by the front door and keep the engagement ring to pawn it for some cash for yourself and DC

emilybrontescorset Sun 26-Feb-17 18:28:53

I think it was a mistake to get engaged.
Why not call it off and spend time building up a new life for yourself and dd.
Than when you have gained confidence and worked out what you want and only then, start dating again.

InTheRedTent Wed 01-Mar-17 12:39:25

Advice: Run far, run fast. You've only been back together a month, don't waste any more of your life on this tosser.

Adora10 Wed 01-Mar-17 13:25:27

What's there to talk about, you need to end it, you're back where you were, he will never change OP. Who puts up with a partner that goes to the gym until 2am; utter bollocks, just cut him lose, you will feel a dead weight lifting.

LemonBreeland Wed 01-Mar-17 13:27:15

He is cheating on you and gaslighting you into thinking you are crazy. Run as fast as you can away from this. It won't improve.

CassyD Wed 01-Mar-17 13:46:55

i think u should break up and forget about his existence forever

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