Hi, This is my first post Me and my DP broke up a year ago due he's cheating and lies! A year later (last month) We decided to get back together and get engaged (he said he will change-aren't I foolish?). I thought I forgave him and thought he had been honestly open with me but old wounds are opening again I have come across pictures he's taken with women clearly on dates whilst on holiday (while i am at home- he's been on 3 holidays without my and My DD) I've come across old conversations and old truths I never knew about. He's out almost every night 'at the gym' until 2-3am! I've spoken to him about these issues but he responds with 'i think your mentally ill and need to see a doctor'. I cant even talk to him about anything and I am starting to feel a little bit more heartbroken each day. I feel like I made a terrible mistake. In need of some advice? Some words of wisdom?
He sounds awful. I do think you have made a mistake getting back together. He won't change and his suggestion that you are mentally unwell when you challenge him is narcissistic. Sometimes I think the past is best left in the past. I'd say get rid but I know it's not easy. You don't want to be married to a man like this
He's also gas lighting you. Is there anything more despicable than casting aspersions on someone's sanity/mental health when they come to go with valid questions or doubts. So common as well. The fact that he's been caught cheating before proves that you are v sane & v sensible to be bothered by (yet more) red flags; not the opposite.
Gym til 2/3 am - I don't think so.
If you were a sister or friend of mine I'd hate him and be fervently hoping you left him.
He must be muscley for all these trips to the gym. Yes he's cheating so when he comes home at 2am, his bags are by the front door and keep the engagement ring to pawn it for some cash for yourself and DC
I think it was a mistake to get engaged. Why not call it off and spend time building up a new life for yourself and dd. Than when you have gained confidence and worked out what you want and only then, start dating again.
What's there to talk about, you need to end it, you're back where you were, he will never change OP. Who puts up with a partner that goes to the gym until 2am; utter bollocks, just cut him lose, you will feel a dead weight lifting.