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Online dating verses real life

(10 Posts)
Morgani97 Sun 26-Feb-17 03:19:05

Will start at the beginning and please tell me what you think.....got chatting to a guy on pof eight weeks ago,we got on really well and after three weeks exchanged numbers and chatted on the phone every day sometimes up to two hours,on facebook as well. Anyway to cut a long story short we met up,again got on really well. He's told me about his past...issues with being beaten as a child,failed relationships. He's been completely honest with me about practically everything. But here's the thing...online and on the phone he came across as caring,definitely talks the talk re saying nice things etc. now we've met it's just plain weird,he seems like a different person. I asked him why he continues to see me,his answer is we get on.! He never comes near me,no hand holding cuddles nothing,it's like we're just friends nothing else. Yet online and on the phone he was telling me he thought we were good together among other things.. Tell me to stop being stupid or tell me to run for the hills. My friends n family have met him and they think he's lovely. He's with me tonight and all he's done is watch tv. Am I being paranoid. He's not had a relationship for 4 years I've not had one for 2. I realise things are different in real life. Excuse the rambling I'm tired and confused.

nespressofan Sun 26-Feb-17 04:03:21

He's with me tonight and all he's done is watch tv. Am I being paranoid. He's not had a relationship for 4 years I've not had one for 2. I realise things are different in real life. Excuse the rambling I'm tired and confused.

Goodbye methinks

BitOfFun Sun 26-Feb-17 04:16:29

He's got big problems. Move on.

Greaterexpectations Sun 26-Feb-17 06:43:39

Sounds like my ex. Run.

Howlongtilldinner Sun 26-Feb-17 06:57:17

Eight weeks? Don't invest one more second of your precious time..

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Sun 26-Feb-17 07:15:47

Why is he even at your house? Don't you go on dates with him?

Porpoises Sun 26-Feb-17 07:25:13

Do you like him?

It's maybe good that he is being honest with you, but is he also doing something to resolve his issues? I have issues from childhood myself that affect my relationships, so am investing in a lot of counselling. I would expect the same of a partner with mental health issues.

noego Sun 26-Feb-17 08:03:27

The things you see on OLD.

Want some one to take care of me Truth. Taking care of your self is your responsibility.
Want someone to make me happy. Truth. No one can make you happy 24/7 being happy is your responsibility.
Want someone to make me laugh. Truth. No one can make you laugh 24/7
Want someone to talk to. Truth. No one can chat 24/7.

Chatting in the beginning as you get to know each other is easy, you find it just flows. But there will come a point when there is nothing more to be said or conversation slows down.
It is then that you start to create your own memories together.

There are some people who are confident behind the phone or social media but IRL are a little self conscious/shy.

So do you prefer introverted or extroverted people?
Did you feel uncomfortable with him around?
Seems like you should still be dating and chatting about mundane things before spending time at your house.

With OLD shouldn't it go, Message, test, phone, meet up, date a few times, spend a day together (not at each others houses) when really comfortable in each other company then invite them round?

Lovemusic33 Sun 26-Feb-17 08:14:02

I agree with what others have said, your gut is telling you that someth No isn't right, listen to it and run for the hills. I met my last partner on POF, he had a huge history, a rubbish child hood and several failed relationships, I kind of knew from the start that something wasn't right, we lasted a year, I ended up with bad depression, he cheated on me, he lied to me, he seemed very nice and caring when we first started chatting but deep down I knew it was all one big act.

I am now with someone else who I also met online but this time if feels totally different.

Morgani97 Sun 26-Feb-17 10:27:02

Thank you for your replies,noego in particular. Yes I like him,no I don't feel uncomfortable,we talk about all sorts,family,friends,likes,dislikes. Tales of past experiences etc. it's just different from how I thought. He has told me of his ambitions which include me. Maybe it's just happened too fast and I need to rewind a bit.

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