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(9 Posts)
Angel170911 Sun 26-Feb-17 00:48:03

This is my first post on here.
Feel bit daft but not normally a jealous person when in a relationship.
Been with my partner for 13 years. Have 2 gorgeous children aged 5 and 1 together. Over past week feeling this overwhelming feeling of Jealousy. He is currently doing a job which he can't talk about at all and we normally discuss everything so really struggling to cope with it. Any ideas. Please be kind.

scoobydoo1971 Sun 26-Feb-17 00:59:52

Trying to be kind...I have a job with sensitive elements I cannot discuss with friends and family as it involves research with vulnerable persons. It can be lonely doing a job that you cannot talk about. If all is well in other aspects of your relationships, you are going to have to adapt to this. If you think the jealousy stems from your own insecurity or anxiety, why not think about counselling? Therapy is not just for people suffering serious mental health a vintage TV advert once said 'It is good to talk'. A GP could refer you, or you could seek help from a private sector or voluntary sector counsellor. They may help you come to terms with how you are feeling, and put some perspective to your feelings.

MiddleClassProblem Sun 26-Feb-17 01:05:21

Can you identify what you are jealous about? That you are missing out on a part of him or that you are anxious something else is going on?

Angel170911 Sun 26-Feb-17 01:15:32

My job has always had a lot of confidentiality about it but I can deal with it. He is very stressed out about his but can't talk at all but constantly makes statements that make me worried but also makes me jealous that there's a part of his life he can't share

Angel170911 Sun 26-Feb-17 01:19:08

It's now affecting my sleep and having permanent palpitations. I also feel that I can tell him as I feel so stupid feeling this way as I know job will only last few weeks

MiddleClassProblem Sun 26-Feb-17 01:33:23

It's hard worrying about someone and being able to help solve it but maybe you can help destress him here and there to give his brain a break from that. A bit like when you revise for exams they say take a 15 min break every hour where you aren't even thinking about it.

And you're not really missing a piece of him, just something he is doing. That's not the same thing. All you're doing is caring too much and it is too much as you are physically being affected.

Right now try and take your own mind off it. I'm crap at mindfulness but if you can do something like that or imagine a perfect place in minute detail then that's great. If that's not up your alley maybe read something, even just a movie plot in wiki or go on Rightmove and search for your dream house, whatever you can immerse yourself in to distract you brain and put a pin in that "unuseful" worry. It's not going to get you anywhere right now, at this time of night so put a mental pin in it for a time when you can look at it rationally.

Angel170911 Sun 26-Feb-17 01:54:55

Thanks for your advice middleclassproblem

MiddleClassProblem Sun 26-Feb-17 02:03:49

I hope it helps and you get some kip tonight. These few weeks will be a distant memory soon anyway x

noego Sun 26-Feb-17 08:29:17

This to will pass.

See the jealousy. Lose interest in it. Whilst you concentrate on it, you will give it power and it will get out of hand, dominate your life and bring you down. Try and get space between the jealousy and yourself.

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