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I'm a guy too, and I love a guy I met...

(47 Posts)
scott9 Sat 25-Feb-17 22:19:26

Hey! I'm a guy and 23. Near the start of January, I stopped seeing a guy who I thought liked me, and wanted a relationship with me, but it turned out he was already with someone. I got so upset, and just had to tell someone. I told my Mum, and obviously had to come out to her as bisexual. I posted a thread on this website about it - you might have seen it. Also, in advance, I apologise for using this website again.

Anyway, my Mum took it fairly well, and I have felt happier and more confident since then because I just feel I can be me now.

For the first time since I ended it, I set my tinder to men & women. I was speaking to a guy on there for about a week or just over and we exchanged numbers too.

I was so nervous as I've not really been on a 'date' before. I've never been in a relationship. We arranged to meet and met on Wednesday. We were talking lots and seemed to really get on. He said "we'll go for a meal on our second date". I was so happy and felt so warm inside because I really liked him. I was a bit shy at first, but I felt we got on really well.

At the end of our mini-date, he kissed me.

We met again on Thursday. Our date lasted for about 5-6 hours. All we did was had a little walk around. He said he was cold so we held hands too. We went into spoons and sat there with a drink and just had a really decent chat and laugh with each other. At the end, he walked me to the bus stop and kissed me.

He's gone back to Uni now, it's not far away at all, and he said he wants to see me again. The only thing is, I said about seeing him tomorrow. He said "but the trains are a bit odd on Sundays". Thing is, even though they are, I could still see him.

Do you think he doesn't want to see me again?

I keep worrying i'm not good enough. He sent me a screenshot of what he messaged one of his friends (his friend asked about how his date went). He replied "I literally want him to be my boyfriend".

He's just really cute and I really really liked him. We've got a lot in common too and although I need to meet him more times first, I really want him to be my boyfriend.

But do you think... when he said about the trains, he was trying to put me off? Also last night he did a snapchat story with him looking sad and on his own and wrote something like "will i be alone?"... what if he wasn't interested in me and was speaking to someone else too and wanted that someone else to see it?

He seems really trustable and so genuine, but I'm worried he doesn't like me or doesn't want to see me again as he put me off about tomorrow... or am I just over-thinking?

BitOfFun Sat 25-Feb-17 22:21:38

I'm not sure mumsnet is the best place for you to ask, to be honest. Have you tried Switchboard?

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan Sat 25-Feb-17 22:26:18

You're overthinking. You just need to let relationships develop in their own time.

I do remember your previous thread and am glad things are fine with your mum.

There must be the equivalent of MumsNet for younger people. My teens (one of whom is gay) use the Student Room for lots of advice, I don't know if there's a relationship section on that?

Good luck

HoneyDragon Sat 25-Feb-17 22:30:21

Trains are odd on Sundays.

And buses.

Perhaps he was skint too and couldn't afford another date?

Or had a prior commitment?

Or had to finish his novel?

WowserBowser Sat 25-Feb-17 22:32:57

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

bluestardressinggown Sat 25-Feb-17 22:33:22

I don't see why the OP should go to another forum, this is for relationships of all kinds imo regardless of age, sexual orientation etc.

OP I think you may be overthinking it. It might just be true that the trains are a bit odd and therefore might be a bit tricky for him. Or perhaps he is worried about rushing into things, you say that you had a long date with him so perhaps he is just trying to be sensible and jump into a relationship too quickly.

Perhaps just leave it for a short while, to see how it pans out. He might text you and arrange another date during the week for example.

scott9 Sat 25-Feb-17 22:51:33

Thank you. I just panic way too much sad

EssieTregowan Sat 25-Feb-17 23:01:47

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EssieTregowan Sat 25-Feb-17 23:02:52

Ps I'd have dumped him for 'go for a meal'. Boak. It's either breakfast, lunch or dinner. How classless.

TheNiffler Sat 25-Feb-17 23:05:29

You do have a very mature turn of phrase for a 23yo

WowserBowser Sat 25-Feb-17 23:07:27

You have an extended turn of phrase for one so young. Try not to panic Scott xx

EssieTregowan Sat 25-Feb-17 23:10:56

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TheNiffler Sat 25-Feb-17 23:12:17

"An extended turn of phrase", that's a spot on description, Wowser

ExitPursuedBySpartacus Sat 25-Feb-17 23:14:55

Aw bless.

OhTallulah Sat 25-Feb-17 23:29:59


HakeLively Sat 25-Feb-17 23:31:33


UsedToBeAPaxmanFan Sat 25-Feb-17 23:35:47

Scott I know from your previous thread that you were messed around by someone who was playing games, which I think is why you're not sure of the messages you are getting this time. It's hard not to overanalyse but really, keep it friendly and lighthearted whilst you get to know each other.

TheNiffler Sat 25-Feb-17 23:41:44

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zen1 Sat 25-Feb-17 23:51:18

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EssieTregowan Sat 25-Feb-17 23:53:19

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TheNiffler Sun 26-Feb-17 00:15:36

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Teabay Sun 26-Feb-17 01:29:22

Wowser Effie Niffler

I've reported all three of you for unkind ignorance - this isn't what this board is for

OP - previous posters are right. This is a relationships board for anyone in one. From the bitterness of the above posters they are single or pining yet terrified of a same sex love, so are mocking.

Keep on, don't rush, love yourself. You are amazing.

Valentine2 Sun 26-Feb-17 01:46:44

Some of you are being downright NASTY! And yes that is me shouting at you.
Don't panic just yet. You are way too young. You will find the one. It would be great to just take it easy and keep yourself occupied. My worst mistake at your age was not relaxing into it all. Trust me, if it's real it will happen. If it's not, have fun with someone else.

HoneyDragon Sun 26-Feb-17 08:32:53

I've reported all three of you for unkind ignorance - this isn't what this board is for

1) you're not supposed to announce whom you've reported. If you're an expert on this board you should probably brush up on the guidelines.

2) If his board is just for relationships. Reading the op than perhaps realistically the first website / board the op should have frequented should've been trainline? Or would suggesting that make me terrified of same sex holding hands?

And tbh I don't think this is the right relationship board for the op. I think other posters are correct and that a board with his peers would be possibly more productive? Unless of course his peers are are bunch of mature posters that like to right unnecessary and verbose comments for the sake of it?

scott9 Sun 26-Feb-17 08:44:46

I am only worried that the same thing will happen. I really like him and was worried with him saying "trains are odd on a Sunday", he was trying to put me off. I worry I'm not good enough.

As for being bisexual, I cried my eyes out when I told my Mum I was. I was scared how she'd react or if she'd disown me. I've only come out in the last month, and I'm still yet to tell any friends.

People laughing at it... you'll only make my confidence work and I don't want to be judged in my life. I only want to be happy. Why can't it be a World where for example you can say to your family or friends... "this is my new boyfriend/girlfriend" without having to announce before that you're gay/lesbian or bisexual!? You can't help who you are, people shouldn't mock you for it, and you shouldn't feel bad about it or not good enough about yourself. But society makes you feel like that and it gets me down.

Thank you to the helpful posters on here.

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