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How to stop loving him?

(5 Posts)
PoppiesandPeonies Sat 25-Feb-17 17:30:58

Ah, it's a difficult one. I've namechanged as I don't want it following me.

I finally spilt up with a man (my choice) id been seeing for 4 years last July. I was so done at that point that I didn't even cry as I knew it was the right choice. He was an alcoholic and at times emotionally abusive. However (and please don't scoff) he was also wonderful and we had some really good times together. His alcoholism was the main issue and he had had a hard life.

I did love him but I was being dragged down. He has since moved to the other side of the world.

Even though I have been dating again I still feel a bit sad most days and I do still feel that I love him. Although I know it can't ever be (and won't). I feel like I missed the grieving process of the breakup as I didn't let it in and consequently now I'm stuck in some odd limbo.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? It's coming up a year soon since it all fell apart and I want to move on.

Arealhumanbeing Sat 25-Feb-17 18:29:14

Could you let yourself grieve now? From your post it sounds like you may be ready to. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad. The loss of a relationship IS sad, often regardless of the circumstances.

Perhaps you just weren't able to go through the process at the time.

Arealhumanbeing Sat 25-Feb-17 18:38:50

Also. The world is full of people going through heartbreak.

Sending you strength flowers

abbsisspartacus Sun 26-Feb-17 02:12:56

Let me know if you find an answer

BackInBlack78 Sun 26-Feb-17 02:41:56

Hand holding as I've just ended my relationship of 4 years for the same flowers

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