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Photos of other women

(22 Posts)
WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 12:55:30

Posting for a friend and to check that others would give the same advice that I have given her.
Basically, my friend has been living with her partner for 6 years and there have been a few incidents during that time that have caused her to feel suspicious. Yesterday, she came across some photos of a naked woman on his computer. She was upset but intially thought that they were just photos he had downloaded from the internet. I suggested that she talked to him to tell him how this made her feel, she did and he told her that they were photographs of a woman he knows! He said she was just a friend who lived abroad and that he had saved them because he was 'amazed at her bravery at having herself photographed'! hmm but she remembered that he told her he'd had a fling with this woman years ago. I have told her this is definitely not acceptable and that she needs to have a very serious talk to him. I'm not overreacting am I?

LetsStartAtTheVeryBeginning Sat 25-Feb-17 12:59:09

Yeah, I imagine it's her bravery he's amazed at when he's got his cock in his hand whilst looking at them too...

No, not over reacting. I'd dump over this, to be honest, by my tolerance level for this kind of thing is zero.

LetsStartAtTheVeryBeginning Sat 25-Feb-17 12:59:27


YetAnotherUser Sat 25-Feb-17 13:06:00

As a bare minimum he should be getting rid of the photos and apologising...

TheStoic Sat 25-Feb-17 13:08:18

I think he's quite brave for trying on a ridiculous story like that.

WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 13:10:37

I agree, my tolerance for any of this type of shit is zero too. This isn't the first incident of this nature either hmm

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sat 25-Feb-17 13:10:50

Haha! His story is ridiculous! Has he been practising in the mirror in case she found them?

WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 13:15:40

Haha! I've just sent her a photo of a man with a massive cock to cheer her up and told her to have this as her screensaver. If he questions her then she can say that she admires his bravery at showing something that big off on the internet. grin
She thinks she should leave but it's difficult at the moment. sad

Chops2016 Sat 25-Feb-17 13:28:05

Is this my ex? He's treating her like an idiot.

My ex used to explain saving pornographic images as "anatomy reference" as he was doing an art degree.

I admire his bravery trying such a bullshit excuse grin

WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 13:35:51

Anatomy reference? hmmgringrin
You definitely have to admire their bravery at coming up with these ridiculous excuses!
My friend is very different in temperament to me, I am much more fiery and would be tellIing him exactly what I thought of his bullshiy excuse and have had his bags packed by now but she's more the silent treatment type. She's cleaning to stay out of his way. sad

HarmlessChap Sat 25-Feb-17 13:54:25

Assuming they date back to the fling, he may have kept them for the wank bank as a reminder of the relationship but he should definitely have deleted them.

His explanation is somewhat audacious!!

WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 13:56:00

They were recent photos hmm

Holly3434 Sat 25-Feb-17 14:57:24

Everyone on here says oh I don't mind porn, until you get a thread like this? Then I'll get its personal no he's still wanking and having the same thoughts regardless if he knew her or not so decide really what's acceptable to you.

LetsStartAtTheVeryBeginning Sat 25-Feb-17 15:09:47

Not everyone says, "Oh I don't mind porn", Holly.

WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 15:30:49

I disagree Holly, I don't have an issue with porn but would have an issue with a partner wanking over an ex or photos of someone he knows in real life.

Tinkerbec Sat 25-Feb-17 17:29:49

But what is the difference as the intent is still there?
Not being nasty. I am genuinely just curious as to me it is the same thing.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Sat 25-Feb-17 17:30:56

holly I don't mind my DH watching porn as long as it doesn't affect our sex life.
Having photos of somebody he has slept with would be a totally different story. It would be like he was trying too relive memories and remember the ex. Doesn't matter whether that Ex is a one night stand or long term relationship I wouldn't stand for him having them photos in the slightest.

WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 17:45:15

I totally agree with KungFuPanda. With porn it's a purely physical act but having photos of someone who is actually known to the man in real life would be a deal breaker for me. In my view emotional connections are far more of a threat than physical attraction. This is a possibility where a former partner is involved. I am 41, could do with losing a few pounds and have had 2 kids and a hysterectomy - my body will never compare to a young porn star and I won't beat myself up about that. Similarly, most guys my age won't compare favourably to Tom Hardy! If a partner was lusting after someone they knew in real life then this would be far more worrying and damaging to a relationship than a fantasy figure they're not likely to meet. That's just my view though. smile

Tinkerbec Sat 25-Feb-17 17:54:50

That does actually make sense Wee.

Both I still can't understand either though as I don't want anyone else but my oh not even in fantasy. So I don't get it.

It is all our own personal boundaries though that's true.

merville Sat 25-Feb-17 18:27:37

letsstart lmao

Amazed at her bravery ... have you ever heard the like; that's truly a new level bullshittery

merville Sat 25-Feb-17 18:29:25

If she had naked photos of her ex bf on her pc, would he believe she's kept them cause she was amazed at his bravery in being photographed with his c*ck out lol

WeeMcBeastie Sat 25-Feb-17 18:52:29

Haha! I agree it truly is a ridiculous reason. If he had kept them from the time when they were in a relationship that would be bad enough but it's the fact that these have been recently acquired that would piss me off even more. I don't really understand the whole staying in contact with an ex thing. I have one as a FB friend but that's because we were friends first and only had a very brief fling well over 20 years ago. I'm not in contact with him at all. Other than that I'm not in touch with any exes.

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