Help.
I'm not expecting kindness here, but advice would be good.
Partner and I have been together for a number of years, we have 2 DCs together. Yesterday I asked DP why he seemed reluctant to marry, it has always been what we have both wanted and yet, it still hasn't happened. I am ready to marry. DP tells me he's still not ready to marry me yet, but wants to. We dis cussed the reasons why.
He feels bullied by me. I agree that I can be quite venomous with my words and am in therapy for depression (have been for 3 years.) Talked about this before with my counsellor who seems to believe it's a side effect of DPs neglect for my thoughts and feelings. He can be very cold, lazy and slobbish at times, making v little effort around the house or with himself. I'm not sure this is really an adequate excuse for the way I'm making him feel though.
I asked DP to do what makes him happy and to look after his self-esteem and to leave me. I love him and he deserves better than to be worn down by my often nasty outbursts.
He says he loves me and doesn't want to leave.
I've no idea what else I can do? I'm in counselling, I have rages sometimes that make me feel so angry towards him; he can be so ignorant of my needs and our family's needs that I then become nasty with him. He says I speak to.him like dirt..
I know it's not excuse.
I don't want to be a bully.
I don't want my children witnessing me being a bully towards their father.
I don't want DP to have to be with me like this.
I want to get married
I want us to be healthy and happy
He doesn't want to separate. I'm trying to break these behaviours in sessions with my counsellor, but often it boils down to my frustration with DP. What can I do now?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I am bullying my partner
loopdesoup · 24/02/2017 09:37
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