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(14 Posts)
Supersplit Thu 23-Feb-17 22:33:05


My question is a bit weird but I'm asking it anyway because why not.

Do you think some men purposely try to make women jealous? Why would they think this is a good thing? Or do they do it to let you down gently?

There's a bloke in my job who has made it clear he has feelings for me (told me) but he is a huge flirt. It doesn't bother me much, nothing has happened with us, there is just huge tension/awkwardness there.
But lately, I feel like it is always in my around my desk, he will purposely walk/stand by my desk and call a female co worker over and hug them or whatever or throw paper at the girl who sits beside me etc. Makes comments like "oh isn't so and so looking well today?"

It's really childish and makes me cringe and like I wanna run a mile from him! Now this could be me overthinking completely but it just feels so obvious when he is doing it!
I think he needs constant validation from women.

This chap is in his 30s by the way, I know he sounds about 12! Anyway this isn't as heavy as some of the stuff I read on here but just thought I'd ask! Be gentle, tell me if he is a prick though smile

PidgeyfinderGeneral Thu 23-Feb-17 22:44:01

I'm not sure, but something similar happened to me at work a couple of months ago. A male co-worker told me he liked me and would like a fling, I said no thanks, married, very happy, not interested but no hard feelings.

He then went on a flirt offensive with every female colleague around me like some kind of Generation Game conveyor belt 'this is what you could have won'. Very odd, as I couldn't actually care less.

He's just being a prick.

krustykittens Thu 23-Feb-17 22:46:29

I think you got ti right first time, supersplit he needs female attention, which isn't a great quality in a partner!

Holly3434 Thu 23-Feb-17 22:48:10

Sounds more like sexual harassment than childish behaviour next time he says someone looks well say yeah haven't you got work to do

Supersplit Thu 23-Feb-17 22:49:14

Hahahaha Pidgey, that made me laugh out loud!That's exactly how it feels! It's funny, even though I'm not actually worried about the flirting, the doing it in front of me so much is making me feel like he nearly wants to piss me off so I nearly have to work on pretending not to notice.

I just don't get it!

troodiedoo Thu 23-Feb-17 22:53:48

Went on a few dates with a guy like that years ago, it got tedious very quickly so I binned him off. The last time I just flipped and walked out, not because I was jealous but it was such an idiotic unnecessary thing to do. Think he wanted the drama of having to reassure me. Dick.

InTheMoodForLove Thu 23-Feb-17 23:17:48

you say he told you he wanted a fling but you were not interested
it sounds like he is just desperate to get it on with someone else / any one and not trying to hide it from you (as you are not interested)

yep, a prick

Ilovetorrentialrain Thu 23-Feb-17 23:22:30

OP you say he has feelings for you but do you have them for him at all?

Supersplit Thu 23-Feb-17 23:24:42

He never said he wanted a fling just that he had a soft spot or whatever, he tries the flirting with me a lot too. I can sometimes see him looking at my reaction in the corner of his eye as he does it too,
So stupid but yes to me it's like you say, he's mad for the attention!

Supersplit Thu 23-Feb-17 23:27:29


It's strange, some days I do and some days I don't, sounds odd but the way he acts puts me off.

TeethDrama Thu 23-Feb-17 23:30:47

Yes, he's doing it for effect. Probably thinks he has all the girls wrapped around his finger.

I went out with a guy like this once. The flirting and professing of feelings etc were only the tip of the iceberg of his narcissistic and inappropriate behaviour. He won't suddenly turn into a reasonable guy, what you see is what you get and more, oh and should you go out together, often these guys will accuse you of flirting with other guys even when it's the most innocent of exchanges (smiling and saying thanks to a waiter or shop assistant for example) because they can't see that other people don't go around flirting to make people jealous too.

Watch out. I would personally avoid this guy.

BettyBaggins Thu 23-Feb-17 23:31:08

Stand back from the prick Supersplit!

Ilovetorrentialrain Thu 23-Feb-17 23:34:16

Hmm well in that case I'd be tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt and allow for the fact he's perhaps a bit nervous around you / immature in his behaviour much in the same way school kids get when they fancy someone! If you do like him then could you two try a date? Maybe mention then that the behaviour is slightly off putting?

If you decide he really had put you off any you're not interested then just make it really clear to him. Though something tells me his odd behaviour could ramp up even more along the lines a PP has described.

I hope it all works out, can't beat an office / work flirtation!

Villagernumber9 Thu 23-Feb-17 23:34:19

This moron needs to be careful. He can actually get into trouble, flirting and hugging women in the work place.
He sounds like an attention seeking prick who loves himself.

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