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Pattern of pointless crushes

(5 Posts)
user1487175389 Thu 23-Feb-17 17:55:49

I've been single for a couple of years after a really not great marriage. It's weird that I've had one inappropriate crush after another but no subsequent relationships, isn't it? They all seem to be on people where there's a bit of a power imbalance too. How can I get past this second adolescence and find something real?

user1487175389 Thu 23-Feb-17 18:15:09

Has anyone else experienced similar?

I realised this afternoon that I was developing yet another crush. On an instructor in a class I'm taking. I wish I could pin down what it is about this woman I'm attracted to, and what it is about the other men and women I've felt this way about in recent years. They all seem quite confident people I suppose. It's embarrassing as they're nearly all married or in ltr. How am I ever going to meet and feel mutual attraction with someone again. Am I just at the wrong age (30's)?

Kittencatkins123 Thu 23-Feb-17 20:07:21

You had a crush on a fitness instructor?
You and everyone else in the class!

Yes, it is harder in 30s as so many people are settled down. Why not try a dating app?

spudlike1 Thu 23-Feb-17 20:33:47

Your lonely and vulnerable after a break up.
Seek out ways to form new friendships not based on potential romance. Build your trust in others, find the emotional connection you need without fear of heartbreak . You are recognising that these crushes link to something that is missing on your life so that is a good thing and demonstrates good self awareness.
Take your time be kind to yourself .

user1487175389 Thu 23-Feb-17 21:27:25

kitten I know, my crush is such a cliche! Had a bad experience with a dating app and it's really put me off. I feel like online dating works better in big anonymous cities anyway. Then if you meet someone stalkers youre less likely to run into them again. It's a bit of a backwater round here...

You're right spudlike new friendships would be a good place to start. But can I go to any innocent event without getting a stonking great crush on someone? Nope! I'm hopeless blush

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