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I dont want to leave

(7 Posts)
Desperatedaisy Thu 23-Feb-17 00:15:03

'd' p is the father to our new born and I've had enough. He doesn't lift a finger round the house, 'babysits' HIS son if I need to go somewhere or do something (reluctantly) and when I return he's stressed, needs a drink. He has been unfaithful multiple times although I only have proof for one affair. He is holding himself and me back from a decent career as he would prefer to smoke pot and to top it off is now unemployed. I've had enough. I have asked him to leave but he wont, he says it's his house too and he wouldnt leave ds with e confusedhmm We rent a house off a friend of a friend (my friend) and have recently put a claim in for housing benefit tax credits ect ect.

Where do I stand and what do I do?
neither of us has anywhere else to go

I am not worried about my ds or my safety and I do actually care about partner, I just cant take anymore of being treated like SHIT and think we would be better off apart, but like I said he wont go and neither of us have anywhere to go to.

DanielCraigsUnderpants Thu 23-Feb-17 11:53:07

I guess you could start with a visit to your local council's housing officer who can help assess whether you are entitled to a property for you and your baby. I'm sorry I dont have any practical advice, it sounds like you've had enough and this is not what you need having just had a baby. Hopefully someone will be along with some better advice than this

pocketsaviour Thu 23-Feb-17 11:58:02

Do you have a formal tenancy agreement with your friend? Are both of your names on the lease?

Desperatedaisy Thu 23-Feb-17 12:37:10

Yes both names on the tenancy. I dont want to leave, this is my ds home. And if I were to leave, I have nowhere to go until the council would find us somewhere to live. I have no savings for a bond or hotel ect. I'm in no danger and haven't been evicted so I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place.

pocketsaviour Thu 23-Feb-17 12:41:52

Well one option is to contact your landlord, explain the situation, and ask if s/he would be happy to end your joint tenancy and then re-let to you and DC as a single tenant. If both of you are not working then the LL would probably be more keen to re-let to you singly, especially if you mention the weed smoking.

Another option is to make his life as difficult as possible so that he'll feel he's better off elsewhere. Unfortunately that also brings with it the possibility that he'll do the same back...

DanielCraigsUnderpants Thu 23-Feb-17 12:42:00

There are choices but they all suck. You either carry on as you are and things may get better, stay the same or get worse. Or you leave and take control but you will leave your home. If you've had enough, you dont want to be with your partner anymore and he treats you badly, chances are it will get worse. So the advice I would give, is get out now whilst things are civil.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 23-Feb-17 13:14:38

That's not easy.
How is he affording weed?
Is he doing anything to find another job?
He should be doing everything in the house if he's not working.

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