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A little Help

(10 Posts)
Meforyoujustustwo Wed 22-Feb-17 10:37:01

Where to begin... Just before the new year I met up with some friends for a few drinks. After a few too many I decided to go home. I heard someone coming in a while later and just thought it was my friend whom I had been out with coming home after me. I woke up a while later and I could hear the noise of the bed banging in the other room. I went outside to the front room and seen my other friends (who I had also left in the pub earlier) boyfriends jacket was in the living room but he wasn’t in there. I went straight over to the bedroom wall and banged on it as loud as I could shouting get out what are you doing. I couldn’t believe my eyes when the door was opened and my friend whom I live with and my other friends boyfriend were in there. I know that they had been up to something coz I heard them so they couldn’t deny it . I shouted at the what are you doing this is wrong and they both just looked at me blankly. I told him to get out and they still just looked at me! They closed the door and me and my boyfriend could hear them having sex again! I am so disgusted with the whole thing. I have been friends with both girls since I was a child. I am totally and utterly gutted about this. Of course they begged me not to tell anyone the usual crap. I mean what choice do I have I am in the middle of this and I didn’t ask for any of it. I haven’t told her but it is eating away at me. Every time she calls or texts me my heart stops. I feel like I cannot be friends with her anymore because of what I know and how can I be happy for her in anything her future holds with this man because it’s all based on a lie. I had a bit of a meltdown over it and confided in a mutual friend . To my horror she went and told someone about it. I am so devastated as I told her in confidence I was very upset about it at the time so it wasn’t gossip to me it was causing me pain. I am hurt that someone who I chose to confide in has done this. So the cheater called me up and started having a go at me telling me how disrespectful I am for talking about it. Please you shouldn’t have done it in the first place. My other friend whom I live with isn’t talking to me now either because I spoke about it. I feel so guilty all the time and no matter what I do I seem to be the one to lose out. I cannot go on living with this secret from my friend she doesn’t deserve it. They are saving for a house and trying for a baby but I honestly don’t know what to do not matter what I do I cannot seem to win. I can’t stop worrying about it how she will feel when or if she finds out. I am so miserable. I have spoken to my boyfriend who is at the end of his tether with the whole thing and he is sick of me being upset about it and wants them to tell her and if not he said that he will. I should tell her but I mean how can I it will kill her and if she finds out I knew all this time and didn’t tell her she will prob not speak to me again anyway. I don’t know what to do 

UpYerGansey Wed 22-Feb-17 10:41:08

Terrible situation for you and your friend. I'm sorry. If you know she's trying for a baby with this guy though, I think you'll have to find a way to have her know her partner is a cheat.

pinkyredrose Wed 22-Feb-17 10:41:40

Tell her! She deserves to know what a cunt her fella is. How can you be a friend and know this and not tell her!

Cuppaoftea Wed 22-Feb-17 11:02:57

Tell her before she buys a house and has a baby with this man.

He has a cheek (to put it mildly) accusing you of being disrespectful.

Rethink your living arrangements too.

Holly3434 Wed 22-Feb-17 11:08:01

Tell her before she finds out from someone else then finds out you knew all along

MusicToMyEars800 Wed 22-Feb-17 11:15:15

I would tell her too, even though it is an awful situation for you to be in and it won't be an easy conversation, your friend deserves to know.. she is planning a future with a lying cheat and he will probably end up cheating on her more and she will end up a lot more hurt in the long run , especially if she finds out you knew.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 22-Feb-17 11:49:19

Please tell your poor friend who has been cheated on.
If she finds out and then finds out you knew all along there could be a worse fall out.
Yes, the messenger often gets shot but you owe her the truth.
What she does with that info is then up to her.

NotTheFordType Wed 22-Feb-17 11:51:42

Wait, why have you posted this twice?!

Montane50 Wed 22-Feb-17 12:49:11

Posted twice and with different usernames.
Im outta here..

Expat38matt Thu 23-Feb-17 06:23:13

Make him tell her. Confront him in front of her leaving no room for excuses or getting out of it
Horrid situation
Your friend who's done this is not your friend or tmwouldnt put u in this position

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