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Ex GF faked pregnancy and I'm in the wrong!

(31 Posts)
bullyhfc Mon 20-Feb-17 23:48:38

Will try to keep this short as possible. Met exgf in October, moved in with her by December, I know it was a bit soon, and I was warned by friends this was the case. Agreed on an amount to cover all bills and expenses, and paid every week without fail.
She warned me just before I moved in she was bi-polar, which is fair enough, I have a family member who is bi-polar. I thought I'd be handle it, but how wrong I was!
Every little dis-agreement would turn into her getting un-believably abusive and stroppy. The first time was because I told her I wasn't happy about her telling her best friend neighbour everything about our relationship. The last argument which got totally out of control was about me paying yet again for a take away, when we agreed we would go halves. I also took her on holiday last minute with me, paying for the hotel and just asking her to pay for her flight.
She wasn't working for most of our 4 month relationship, I was doing early and late shifts. I would normally need a nap in the afternoon after coming home but this caused problems. It was ok for her getting up 6 hours later than me though.
I had enough and left, without my clothes and other belongings. We had another holiday booked, for next week, which she had paid some towards. To be able to get my clothes back she wanted her holiday money back ,and a weeks rent, which is fair enough so I paid and I collected my stuff, well most of it. She kept some back.
By the time I got back to my parents where I now have to live, she text me saying she was 6 weeks pregnant, sent me picture of test, and then a scan pic, which as I knew was her pregnant best friend neighbours scan. It had her name on it! She then rang up the holiday company to try and cancel the whole holiday but she couldn't as it was in my name.
She's been texting me for 3 weeks now, calling me mentally abusive and even threatened to call my work and get me sacked!
I just want her to stop this crap!

RoundTheBend Mon 20-Feb-17 23:52:54

Wow! Well for starters I would block her number so she cannot send you abusive texts.

Maudlinmaud Mon 20-Feb-17 23:53:40

How could she have you sacked?

TopOfTheCliff Mon 20-Feb-17 23:55:12

You haven't even known her six months! Just admit you made a stupid mistake getting involved with her, and block her phone number. If you really need your other belongings arrange to go round with a friend and get them, but she is keeping them to have an excuse to see you again. She sounds far too much hard work. You deserve someone nicer.

bullyhfc Mon 20-Feb-17 23:55:45

Not a clue how she was going to get me sacked, Maud. She threatened this twice. I didn't think you could block texts. RTB

bullyhfc Mon 20-Feb-17 23:56:52

I was hoping until recently to be able to get the rest of my stuff back , having blocked her on facebook, whats app etc, I kept text open.

hoddtastic Mon 20-Feb-17 23:57:04

why mumsnet?

Maudlinmaud Mon 20-Feb-17 23:57:42

You can with most devices, it should allow you in settings.

bullyhfc Mon 20-Feb-17 23:58:28

I know I made a stupid mistake topofcliff. big time.

She has also threatened to kill herself on a number of occasions.

bullyhfc Mon 20-Feb-17 23:59:55

she is a single mother hodd, and I've been reading and lurking on here for years.

RoundTheBend Tue 21-Feb-17 00:00:09

I think you just have to realise that you made a bad mistake of getting involved with her so soon. It has been a hard lesson.

She cannot get you sacked. On what grounds can she get you sacked from your work so stop worrying about that.

Forget about the clothes you have not got back. Just write them off.

I think you need to take a little bit of time at your parents to get yourself back together again and then move on.

bullyhfc Tue 21-Feb-17 00:00:49

and I have seen some really good advice, I just wanted to vent somewhere

HeddaGarbled Tue 21-Feb-17 00:03:02

A bit soon? After two months? Unbelievably stupid.

Block her number.

She can't get you sacked.

Think of this as a lesson learned - don't move in with someone you have only just met and know bugger all about.

ThatsPlenty Tue 21-Feb-17 00:04:55

Get someone else(your mum maybe) to collect the rest of your things. After that, you will have no need to ever speak to her again. If she rings or texts just ignore. She'll get fed up after a while.

hoddtastic Tue 21-Feb-17 00:09:52

you moved in with someone and their kid/s after a few weeks? And prior to that lurked on mumsnet? Blimey.

Catherinebee85 Tue 21-Feb-17 00:10:17

She doesn't sound to have bipolar bipolar. She sounds emotionally unstable and manipulative. Even if she did have bipolar it would not excuse this shitty, abusive, manipulative behaviour.

Maybe you could approach your boss to make them aware of the shit she's putting you through so that if they did have a call from her (unlikely I think) they'd know she was just stirring.

I think you're just going to have to block her, write off your belongings (as long as nothing too valuable) and move on. See it as a lesson learned xx

Thinkingblonde Tue 21-Feb-17 00:10:22

Write off your belongings, she's using them to have some kind of leverage to keep in contact.
Send her a cease and desist letter, telling her to stop contacting you, don't text it or email it, send it by post and keep a copy of it.
State in the letter that if she continues to contact you or threaten you in any way you will report her to the police for harassment.
And do it if she ignores your letter.

bullyhfc Tue 21-Feb-17 00:18:37

thank you people great ideas smile

GabsAlot Tue 21-Feb-17 00:25:56

if she carries on say you'll go to the police-then block her number

its harrassment-fwiw i moved in with my dh after four months and we're still together

user1487364179 Tue 21-Feb-17 00:26:24

What phone do you have OP? If you have an iPhone- make sure you turn off iMessage as well as blocking her number as she can send messages from email addresses to your number even if actual number is blocked.

If she continues to try to contact you by other means- then its time to call the police. My ex was a bit nuts and sent me text messages containing all kinds and a quick knock from the police soon put a stop to it.

I agree with other PPs you may need to let your things go- unless its anything of value

HarmlessChap Tue 21-Feb-17 00:30:52

What an awful situation.

No she can't get you sacked but I would speak to your employers, to let them know about this.

If she contacts them with a complaint they may feel obliged to to suspend you while they investigate, depending on the nature of what she says.

If you make them aware that she is bipolar and has made these threats they can factor that into how they handle any situation that may arise, if they are unaware then they will have to take it at face value initially.

Otherwise block, chalk your possessions up to experience if you can and move on.

bullyhfc Tue 21-Feb-17 00:31:21

hodd, her kids are 20 and 17, not kids. I'm not a weirdo.

ScarlettFreestone Tue 21-Feb-17 00:32:04

hodd there are all sorts of people on MN.

bullyhfc Tue 21-Feb-17 00:32:58

would never get with someone with young kids, not a chance.

PerspicaciaTick Tue 21-Feb-17 00:34:45

Keep screenshots of threatening messages and a diary of any abuse or threats. Be prepared to go to the police if the situation continues or escalates after you have told her not to contact you any more.

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