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He's left hand holding needed part 2

(2 Posts)
Alfiemoon1 Mon 20-Feb-17 22:39:27

Sorry don't know how to link my previous thread hopefully someone else will. After a horrendous 6 months of dh behaving like a total tool over v at our stables. I decided to try and put the past behind me as the marriage was generally ok bit boring but we agreed to both work at that.
We were plodding on ok he still had a passcode on his phone that I didn't know but I had the attitude I would find out eventually if he was up to no good and left it. Although he is still secretive over his phone jumps a mile if I go to put a brew next to it refuses to let the kids borrow it if theirs have died etc He has been slipping a bit attention wise but we are both so busy. Valentines was a disaster I told him I would make a nice meal get a nice bottle of wine etc which I did he didn't even bother and was moody all night but hey ho
he was sending a WhatsApp video on Thursday I stood behind saying I didn't know how to crop it and asked him to go back and low and behold there is v no name as she isn't in his contact but her pic and no. I demanded to see the message which of course had been deleted he says it was thanking him for bringing her horse in 2 months ago probably true as she was below my sister and they haven't WhatsApp in ages so I asked why hadn't he deleted the contact he said he didn't know how to pfft I went out he then text me saying he thought deleting the messages deleted the contact bollock he WhatsApp dd daily and would have seen v smiling face. Problem is it probably was about horses but it's the deleting the secrecy that annoys me and I feel he hasn't listened to a word I have said about how I feel he has betrayed my trust
Haven't spoken to him or text since Thursday except being civil in front of the kids and tonight he's announced in front of ds he's going to holland for a few days next with a bloke from jujitsu who is going on business. I presume as in holland he means Amsterdam and after discovering loads of porn on his phone over the last few months no wonder he's keen to go. I haven't responded I don't know what to say he's an adult I can't stop him I don't even trust him in this country my sister is away at the same time so I will have to sort out childcare as he won't be here either. Part of me wants to go into a rage and say he can't go but the other part thinks that will only make out problems worse. Opinions please I haven't even asked if it is amsterdam as I feel ready to row but can't think where else in holland he would want to go

jeaux90 Mon 20-Feb-17 23:16:39

I remember your previous thread.

It sounds like you are torturing each other over something that never happened but he might have wanted it to.

Do you want to split? Do you want to ask him if he does?

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