Have posted previously and received some great support, so here I am again.
Brief recap: married for 12 years with 3 DC. Emotionally and physically abusive marriage in which I fell out of love and decided I wanted to end it last summer. Constant walking on eggshells, feelings of not being good enough, resentment etc. He left the marital home and I stayed with the DCs.
I have no surviving family and because of his living circumstances where a friend has recently moved in, it means I have primary care of the children, and for at least 6 weeks now, this has been without a break. I have struggled, a lot. I have been put on anti ds by my GP due to lack of confidence as a result of being put down so many years.
For the sake of the children, we are trying to remain civil. He is due to open a new business this week and has been tied up there as a result. Its a good 15-20 minute drive in the opposite direction from school to home and over half term last week, I made the effort and took the kids to see him there most days whilst I knew he didn't have much flexibility. If I hadn't have done this, he wouldn't have had the time and so at least he can't throw it back in my face about me not making an effort on my part- or so I thought.
After school tonight, they said they wanted to see him. I called to check if he was available and he said to bring them across. We must have stayed around 30 minutes, and in that time, all they got was a hello and a kiss on the cheek. When I realised he was too busy to come and sit with them, I told them that it would be best if we left as I also didn't want to get stuck in rush hour traffic. He then made some smart comment directly to the children about me being bored, and that when I brought them tomorrow he would take them home so they could stay longer. Stay longer and
do what? Sit on a table and watch their father do anything and everything but interact with them when his business partner was happily sitting with his own DW and DD when we arrived?
When I told him that I had brought the children to see him, which on the phone he had no problem with, he replied that I wasn't doing him a favour, I was doing the children a favour  I actually thought he would appreciate me making the effort to bring the kids to him as much as I have, because I don't want them turning around in a few years time telling me that I was the reason they never saw him, when in fact, if it was left to him, they probably wouldn't see half of what they are doing now.
This coming from a guy who was adamant on joint custody, yet hasn't looked after his kids once in the past six weeks at least.
I am tired, burning out, and trying to juggle life with three DC, one of whom has a disability. All the while trying to keep their relationship with their father healthy, yet I get the feeling I just have mug written across my face 
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Am I trying too hard or being over sensitive?
swannview · 20/02/2017 22:24
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