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The way husband speaks to children

(12 Posts)
Eebahgumlass Mon 20-Feb-17 21:32:05

My husband does a lot with our children and they have a good relationship. However he can be quite irritable and bad tempered. Tonight he was helping them get ready for bed. They started crying for me and told me that Daddy had told them to 'shut their mouths'. I feel like this is a really unpleasant thing to say to 2 small kids. I can't imagine ever talking to them in this way and I am anxious that he thinks it is ok. Am I overreacting?

hesterton Mon 20-Feb-17 21:33:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gandalf456 Mon 20-Feb-17 21:35:11

I really don't think it's really very nice, no. I would be annoyed too.

If he's otherwise great with them, maybe have a chat with him about it? Perhaps this is how he was spoken to as a child? Perhaps he is tired after a long day and they are mucking about and getting on his nerves. How long do they take to get into bed and do you sure the bedtime routine? I find myself getting irritated (I don't tell them to shut their mouths, normally, though) if it's taking too long and they're being silly and DH doesn't help.

Eebahgumlass Mon 20-Feb-17 21:40:29

He is currently sulking because I am annoyed with him about it. When he hears me coming up the stairs he tries to stop the children from telling me about it. The bedtime routine is painful but tonight we had only been in for about 10 minutes so I can't really understand why he has got so annoyed so quickly. I really find it unacceptable but he doesn't want to accept my view.

Naicehamshop Mon 20-Feb-17 22:15:21

No - it's a horrible way to talk to children. sad

MrsDustyBusty Mon 20-Feb-17 22:18:24

I think that's quite aggressive language to use with anyone.

Msqueen33 Mon 20-Feb-17 22:25:34

I've had words with my dh about the way he talks to our kids. He either ignores them misbehaving or will scream at them and yank them about. He gets quite bad tempered and I really don't like it. I suppose if it was a one off you could put it down to tiredness but if it was consistent. No.

Eebahgumlass Mon 20-Feb-17 22:31:49

He is now not speaking to me because I called him out on it. He tries to cover it over and pretend it never happened and get the kids to hide it when they were upset. I find this very troubling. I also find it aggressive MrsDusty and not consistent with the image he otherwise portrays.

yellowpoppy17 Mon 20-Feb-17 22:34:31

It's worrying that he tries to get the kids to lie to you about it. Apart from anything else it means he knows it's wrong. Does he have a temper with you too or just the kids?

Eebahgumlass Mon 20-Feb-17 22:37:58

Mainly with the kids yellowpoppy

troodiedoo Mon 20-Feb-17 22:38:00

OP that would indicate to me he knows he's in the wrong but feels unable to control his temper with them. I'd suggest a conversation when you're both fresh and calm to try and find a way forward (sorry I'm aware that sounds a bit nonsensey can't think of a better phrase)

yellowpoppy17 Mon 20-Feb-17 22:53:52

He's a bully, picking on those least able to answer back. Does he have an empathy problem, or is he very old fashioned and doesn't think of children as people with feelings?

They will remember how he made them feel.

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