We are an unhappy house

[polarexpresstime]

I live with DH and two DS who are 9 and 12.

It feels like we are permanently miserable.

DH is grumpy and spoilt. It rubs off on our DS too so now they are grumpy and spoilt too.

The bickering and squabbling is unbearable and they can never agree on anything. One of them is always unhappy with whatever we're doing, irritated by the others.

I feel like I have 3 children not 2.

DH is constantly pulling the DS up on their behaviour but he doesn't see that his constant criticism is making everyone snippy with each other and he is just as bad.

We actually get on OK when it's just the two of us, but probably because I'm always happy to do whatever he wants.

I'm thoroughly fed up. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

I feel like if you could 'hear' our house without any of the words, just the tone of voice, it would be horrible

[Biscusting]

Has DH always been grumpy or do you suspect any underlying reasons? I'm wondering if the daily grind of family life and work has brought him down if there is no obvious big problems, like illness, money worries etc, going on.
You say he is happy when it's just the two of you. Would more breaks away help to get things on track?

If you've exhausted all the options to change the mood in the house, you don't have to live with it.

How do you see life when the children have fled the nest?

[Astro55]

What's his back ground?

DH is from a wealthy background where as we had nothing - we made our own fun - silly jokes etc

Is he depressed?

[polarexpresstime]

He's always been grumpy.

Not all the time, but he does like to get his own way.

And he's very negative. Lots of snarky sarcastic comments.

I'm a bit bored of it to be honest.

[polarexpresstime]

We are a bit strapped for cash at the moment and have some debts. But nothing terrible and certainly not worth him being less positive than me about things.