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Partner has a low sex drive

(8 Posts)
jayne000 Mon 20-Feb-17 17:28:20

Hi, it would be great to get some advice from people who don't know me.. my partner of 9 months has never had the highest of sex drives. I am understanding most of the time as he has a physical and stressful job so I get that he won't all the time especially during the week. But I find even sometimes over the weekend when he hasn't been working or been drinking the night before he still makes excuses. I've never experienced this from a man before, we don't live together and only see each other twice a week at the most so is it wrong of me to expect some action if it's been a whole week since we've done it! Apart from this we have no issues and I love him so much, every now and again I get so frustrated that I think this is a deal breaker and how can I live the rest of my life like this! Surely it will only get worse once we have kids etc.. I don't want it to end but I wonder if there's anything that can be done to help us out.. he's 36 so surely he should still be raring to go! smile

xbblx123 Tue 21-Feb-17 22:51:07

I'm in the same boat! I have a very high sex drive but my boyfriend doesn't want it enough! And when we do it its boarding! I have tried everything nothing worksconfused

xbblx123 Tue 21-Feb-17 22:51:57

If I didn't have a 10 week old baby to him I would be thinking of ending things tbh

LellyMcKelly Wed 22-Feb-17 03:36:56

End it. It's only going to get worse, not better. Mine turned out to be gay.

ElspethFlashman Wed 22-Feb-17 03:40:46

This is as good as he gets. Be warned.

LevantineHummus Wed 22-Feb-17 03:46:01

It will not get better. You are not sexually compatible. There's nothing wrong with either of you, you're not sexually matched though. End it before you get more emotionally involved. It will hurt - definitely - but no where near as much as it will destroy you to be in a relationship longs term with someone who doesn't make you feel sexually cherished/satisfied.

TheNaze73 Wed 22-Feb-17 07:48:31

I think Levant has called this well, I think it's totally to do with mismatched drives & the chasm will only get worse & you'll end up feeling more rejected & like you're the one with the problem. When this is reversed, you'll see the usual monotonous rhetoric dragged out about helping around the house etc etc, which I personally think is utter bollocks. You're just incompatible & need to end it. Imagine how bad it would be after 9 years, if it's this bad after 9 months with no children about.

PastaOfMuppets Wed 22-Feb-17 09:08:01

It won't change, OP. The other posters are right. Let me tell you, it will erode your self esteem and crush you. It sucks and is awful. I speak from experience. flowers

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