Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Thinking of leaving.

(8 Posts)
MadamMooMoo Mon 20-Feb-17 12:31:32

I have been thinking of leaving my husband for a while now as just don't feel majorly happy. I am thinking of getting mortgage advice so I can buy him out if I,see this through. Will the bank still give advice on this? Anything else I need to do to get my ducks in a row should I decide to go through with leaving him?

StiffenedPleat Mon 20-Feb-17 12:44:21

Why are you leaving him?

MadamMooMoo Mon 20-Feb-17 12:47:38

I just don't feel happy. We don't have anything in common, don't spend time together, disagree on things and have had issues in the past with his ex that I still can't move on from (he doesn't support me if his ex is being unpleasant to me). We don't talk as he never listens to me and has hidden some serious stuff in the past.

Jenniferb21 Mon 20-Feb-17 12:48:55

I would say discuss your feelings with him if you haven't can her alter his behaviour? Has he been feeling this way or or unhappy? Is there anything you can do to work on your marriage first? He may be so upset you feel this way and want to make positive changes. Do you not think you owe it to him to give him a chance?

You sound very flippant about ending a marriage. In my opinion people don't want to put the effort in to making relationships work these days which is very sad. Absolutely fine if you're not happy but not discussing it first and trying to work on things together seems strange to me.

I would though be thinking about general finances i.e. Could you afford to live on your own with your current income and outgoings etc, would you need to make any cut backs? Move? New job? Etc. I would be constructing a list of everything that you believe is yours and you'd be entitled to (i.e sentimental or highly valuable items)

Good luck whatever you decide to do x

MadamMooMoo Mon 20-Feb-17 12:50:33

There is no trust there either. Not sure what to do but need advice on how to be best prepared as we have dd.

MadamMooMoo Mon 20-Feb-17 12:54:39

Hi Jennifer yes I discussed with him, have talked about it a few times over the last couple of months. I haven't made any definste decisions as like you said want to see if things change. I asked dh if he has any issues and he says no. I need advice more on the practical sides so if it does come to it I am ready to go. Biggest issue is his ex banning access to their son if he doesn't do her favours/ what she says and it taking it's toll on things at home.

MadamMooMoo Mon 20-Feb-17 13:02:28

I haven't made definate decisions, have spoken to dh about issues and I hope we resolve them. I needed advice more for the practical side so if six months down the line things haven't changed at least I know where I stand in regards to being able to buy him out etc and whether the bank etc would give me an appt to discuss it jnR advance.Rather than having it drag for months after.

Jenniferb21 Mon 20-Feb-17 13:29:31

You could make an appointment with a financial adviser at a bank and say you're seperating. If things are ok it stays at advice and no harm is done. They'll help you go through options available with regards to your mortgage etc just take all the documents wiTh you x

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: