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Want to leave DP

(4 Posts)
lostandconfused6576i Mon 20-Feb-17 02:16:32

Name changed for obvious reasons.

Been in a relationship for 4 years and wr have a young child together. Stupidly never married (he didn't want to).

I've realises since having dd how unhappy I am. He's never been a great partner but a mix of low self-esteem and infatuation meant I stayed.

All finances are seperate. Again I realise this was a mistake.

I want to leave but have no money. I would have to move in with my parents.

I want to take dd - he can have joint custody but how do I go about this? And if it went to court would they look more favourably on him as he earns more/has his own house. I'm on maternity eave and have a few thousand in savings.

I think I've realised how dysfunctional our relationship is and I never want dd to hear her mum being sworn at or (gpd forbid) he speaks to her the way he speaks to me.

lostandconfused6576i Mon 20-Feb-17 02:17:17

sorry for typos. Cuddling dd and typing at the same time!

Aquamarine1029 Mon 20-Feb-17 02:26:45

Get out, get away, and start over. Live with your parents until you can get out on your own. Don't waste another minute.

Isetan Mon 20-Feb-17 08:46:58

Count your blessings that you didn't marry him. As long as your Mum doesn't live too far away then you can and should leave. Once away, send him a letter outlining why you left and give him the opportunity to share his opinions regarding contact. If it does go to court, he will have a hard time convincing a judge that it will be not in his child's best interest in not having their primary carer as their resident parent.

Motherhood woke me up to the realities to my relationship because my expectations for my child were much higher than those for myself. Prioritising the future emotional wellbeing is a good sign of a responsible parent.

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