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Db ex wife stole his passport

(33 Posts)
School2 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:36:00

Advice needed!
On Valentine's Day my db and I were due to go for a couple of days abroad for a romantic getaway. In the morning we were both ready to make our way to the airport and were about to call our Uber's from our respective homes. However when db went to get his passport from his home office drawer it wasn't there. He immediately suspected his ex wife as she had been in the house the day before. He called her she denied it. He called me and I calmly said let's not let her ruin our time together so we went to Cornwall for 2 days instead. We had a good time and we are happy together.
On Friday she called him and told him he could come and collect his passport. So she admitted it.

This has made me so angry. I know she's jealous and bitter but who does that sort of thing?! Whats worse is I wanted my db to report it to the police which he has refused to do as they have children together. The children are teenagers and she couldn't stop them seeing their dad as they want to see him. I just want to know what I should do and how to handle this?
I did say to db is crazy behaviour and reporting it to the police would help us to get a restraining order if we ever need one but he's not willing. Should I just move on and forget about it (which is hard) or should I do something?
So confused.

peppatax Sun 19-Feb-17 21:39:45

Sorry I read that as you were on a romantic break with your brother and couldn't get my head around why the passport was the issue

RitaConnors Sun 19-Feb-17 21:41:55

Moi aussi Peppa.

Thought one didn't need a passport for Paris.

Leggit Sun 19-Feb-17 21:43:16

You should do nothing. If his ex wife is stealing things from him that is between him and her, meantime he just needs to report his passport as lost and get a replacement.

reallyanotherone Sun 19-Feb-17 21:43:17

Db? Dear brother?

Confused..

Chloe84 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:45:36

I think OP means dear boyfriend. Or dearly beloved.

Does ex-wife have a key to his home? He should change locks. She sounds vindictive. Did they part badly?

DoloresVanCartier Sun 19-Feb-17 21:45:54

If you were on a romantic break with your brother I think you have more to worry about than the ex wife!!

Not helpful I know.

Ollycat Sun 19-Feb-17 21:46:12

I thought it was a brother at first but think it's a boyfriend?

justgivemethepinot Sun 19-Feb-17 21:47:04

Possibly OP meant dear boyfriend but I read it as brother too.

BrownEyedLady Sun 19-Feb-17 21:48:53

Well you both have some more useful info about the EW. She can't come to the house anymore (or at least be left unattended).

Ellisandra Sun 19-Feb-17 21:51:27

What on earth was his XW doing not only in his home but in his office with unhindered solo access to his drawer? confused

Ellisandra Sun 19-Feb-17 21:52:33

As for how to handle it...
I'm actually with your boyfriend about not involving the police if this is the only thing she's done.
But I'd dump him if he didn't make it clear she was never coming into his home again.

BonnyScotland Sun 19-Feb-17 21:54:22

what she did was illegal and she would be charged ... he is being very kind in not doing so ....

Bluntness100 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:57:56

I got hung up on the brother thing too. Then had to wrack my brains to work out what it could be , whilst hoping it wasn't an incest tale. 😂😂😂

Just write boyfriend of partner or even dp.

School2 Mon 20-Feb-17 16:31:00

Oh dear, I meant dear boyfriend. I will use dp from now on 😬.

So ex wife had access to his home office because he lives with his mum and she went to visit her. During that time she went upstairs to use the bathroom and went into his office and stole passport from his top drawer.

I feel annoyed because she set out to deliberately ruin our trip, she may not like he's moved on but she can't act like this. It's not like it only affected him.

Gingerbreadlass Mon 20-Feb-17 16:37:54

I hope you don't own a bunny.

Ground rules need to be in place IMO. Where was your boyfriend's mother? She can go and meet her crazy ex daughter in law in a café from now on.

WatchingFromTheWings Mon 20-Feb-17 16:38:10

He needs to put a lock on the office door.

SpiritedLondon Mon 20-Feb-17 16:39:54

Oh I would be so pissed off too! In fact I would arrange another weekend to Paris and keep the passport safely under lock and key. I might be inclined to send a lovely postcard too! ( I wouldn't but I would plaster it all over FB)

DoloresVanCartier Mon 20-Feb-17 19:35:19

OP that's really crap!! He needs to tell EW to stay away, or maybe tell his DM to meet up with her elsewhere! She needs to move on and might need a wee push in the right direction. Hope things get better.

Ellisandra Mon 20-Feb-17 21:46:03

Well, what does his mother think of that behaviour?

Are there children involved?

Because if my son's ex did that, and there were no children, that'd be the last I'd want to see of her.

theoracleofdelphi Mon 20-Feb-17 22:12:35

Delicate question but ....... was he still married to her when you started a relationship with him? Not sure why else she would be quite so jealous to stop you going away together?

SandyY2K Tue 21-Feb-17 00:09:01

She's a lunatic. He needs to tell his mum and she can not let her in the house.

Has he actually spoken to her and she's admitted it?

Are you a new GF or were you the OW? Just trying to figure why she'd do this?

HarmlessChap Tue 21-Feb-17 01:26:59

Wow crazy Ex!

She told him to collect his passport as she wants to know what she did to fuck up his break.

I suggest that he reports this to the police otherwise having got away scot free she will just do other things in the future. Whatever beef she has with your BF she needs to know that she is not above the law.

School2 Tue 21-Feb-17 18:13:12

I am not the other woman. They divorced 3 years ago and we have been together for 14 months.
I think her problem is that he's moving on as he's told her we are getting married.
They have 2 children together who are teenagers.
At the end of the day he had to leave the marital home and moved in with his mum again, he can't tell his mum who she can and can't let into the house so we have decided that it's time he moved out.
But it's the fact that she's got away with it that makes my blood boil!

user1487450864 Tue 21-Feb-17 18:31:46

I feel your pain - my EXH shredded my passport so I couldn't go away as well as trashing our (at the time -although he had moved out) martial home. The police said the passport was the only thing they could arrest him for because it was the only thing that was 'my' property.

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