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Dear MN, Please give me some good comebacks

(67 Posts)
SundaysFundays Sun 19-Feb-17 15:46:56

It's one of those. I've had a nice cordial relationship with this other mum at school for a few yrs. Our two DS's were good friends. We meet at pickups, have a bit of a chinwag, bid eachother farewell and go home.

For whatever reason, I noticed other mum started to pull back for a couple of reasons that will make this thread too long, but one to do with the fact DS has SN and the other I think she thought DS might spoil her son's academic chances.

Anyway, live and let live I thought, her DS can be friends with whoever he wants, although I felt a bit sad. In the last two years I've noticed other mum commenting more and more on my clothes.comments like, 'You look really warm in that' <smirk>, or 'I knew it! I knew Sun will be all wrapped up,' drawing the attention of other parents in the process.

On these occasions I've nearly died of embarrassment. January of 2016 after Xmas I bumped into this mum and her first comment was about my coat. 'Why are you wearing all that?' confused. It was the first week back at school after Xmas, I was in my usual parka coat, with a scarf round my neck and hat on. Most people at pickup were dressed the same. It was a freezing, foggy afternoon. Hope everyone's getting the picture now?

My last encounter was I think last week this January (we had one freezing week before suddenly the warm weather appeared) I was again wearing my usual coat with a scarf but no hat. Her first comment was, 'when I stepped out of my door this morning, the first person I thought of was you! Cue her DS giggling.

'Why?' I asked puzzled, '
Her - because I knew you're always cold!
Me - but it's January, and you yourself are wearing a coat and hat....
Her - But you're always cold, I k ew you'd be wrapped from head to toe....walks of laughing with her son.

It's seems this woman for whatever reason just gets of ridiculing me for some reason and it's really annoying me now. I wouldn't dream of commenting on how someone I'd dressed unless it was to compliment them. My coat is just a normal coat, nothing odd about it, I often wear trousers underneath, with boots. A jumper on top or a shirt. To me I look like every other mum at pickup.

Please give me some good non aggressive but sharp cutting replies to shut her up for good.

loveyoutothemoon Sun 19-Feb-17 15:51:57

I don't see a problem with what she's said! confused

Thattimeofyearagain Sun 19-Feb-17 15:52:42

Not really cutting , but Id probably just tell her to fuck off, if no children were in earshot.

TheSnowFairy Sun 19-Feb-17 15:54:13

'when I stepped out of my door this morning, the first person I thought of was you!'

Answer: 'Really?" And walk off.

Astro55 Sun 19-Feb-17 15:55:56

She's being a cow!

I think that you've started to question her will have an impact

Be a bit more direct 'Sorry why is that important to you?'

ElspethFlashman Sun 19-Feb-17 15:57:59

Ok so she's making jokes with other mums about how bundled up you always are.

I'd just smile wryly and say "You guys really need to get a hobby".

SerenityMom Sun 19-Feb-17 15:59:10

Just respond " Really, when I step out my house I never think of you at all".

BabiaMajora Sun 19-Feb-17 15:59:46

"And that's funny to you because?"
"Happy to entertain: run along now."
"Nice hat/scarf/coat." (Said with a smirk.)
Then get on your phone or speak to another parent and laugh at how pathetic she's being. It's a shame that school yard behaviour is perpetuated by the parents at times. angry

HecateAntaia Sun 19-Feb-17 15:59:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Sun 19-Feb-17 16:00:37

I'm completely confused about these interactions because they seem like nothing to me.

She'd get that exact face from me!

EweAreHere Sun 19-Feb-17 16:01:31

"So, emotionally, you stopped growing at, what, 12?" Then walk off.

DPotter Sun 19-Feb-17 16:01:31

Serenity has it!

ElspethFlashman Sun 19-Feb-17 16:02:22

Jesus, Serenity - hardcore!

TheElephantofSurprise Sun 19-Feb-17 16:02:28

"Really? I have too much going on in my life to notice other people's clothes."
Thereafter, yawn very obviously every time she makes such a comment.

redexpat Sun 19-Feb-17 16:03:02

Shes obviously made it into a thing.

Im not very good at these kind of situations. I suppose you could just say right.

Or whatever THATS supposed to mean.

Or if you dont have anything nice to say please dont talk to me.

Or my clothing is non of your business and I would appreciate it if you refrained from commenting on it.

Or well I have better things to think about than what other people are wearing.

SundaysFundays Sun 19-Feb-17 16:03:42

I'm liking these comebacks very much. I wish I had thought of 'you really need to get a hobby'. Just to add, other mums aren't really joining in but she clearly wants them too as she shouts and laughs hysterically to draw attention. Other mums usually just turn to look before turning back to their conversations.

KatieScarlett Sun 19-Feb-17 16:05:15

Smile kindly
"Look, I'm sorry if I have given you the wrong impression, but I'm not and never will be interested in dating you"
Pat her arm and walk off

winkywinkola Sun 19-Feb-17 16:07:22

Just say "Oh, right." Or thank her even it's a fake compliment.

And walk away.

She sounds like a total weirdo.

Maudlinmaud Sun 19-Feb-17 16:10:09

What a witch! Have you perfected the mn tinkly little laugh yet. I know it's a cliché but this is the perfect opportunity to use it.

noego Sun 19-Feb-17 16:12:35

Seriously. Women notice these things. I pick GK's up from skool which is only over the road and I dress scruffily, don't even tie my boot laces, always wear a bobble hat. My GK's don't mind and are always pleased to see me, get a cuddle and a kiss and THATIS WHATIS MOST IMPORTANT. As for the rest of the playground mum's, I really couldn't give a shit.
If anything I would feel sorry for her. Obviously needs to see a Dr for referral to a psychotherapist.

SundaysFundays Sun 19-Feb-17 16:26:41

Maudlin I didn't know about the MN tinkly laugh 😂.
I don't know why some women do this, it just reminds me of the high school mean girls who really underneath it all have nothing going for them. She's made these comments so many times, that I'm now starting to second guess myself before picking up DS. I know I should ignore, but been finding it really difficult because sometimes when I stand away from her she comes over to me. I prefer to just be pleasant to people or keep it shut.

winterinmadeira Sun 19-Feb-17 16:36:57

I used to have this then one day I snapped 'what the fuck has it got to do with you what I wear?' With hard stare then laugh. She never did it again.

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 19-Feb-17 16:44:39

I'd meet the "Thought of you when I stepped outside" comment with, "Ooh, now I've seen you I've just remembered: I need to get a giant gnome for MIL's garden". Followed by the MN tinkly laugh and a sashay out of the gates.

iklboo Sun 19-Feb-17 16:45:47


DarklyDreamingDexter Sun 19-Feb-17 16:53:28

I don't think she's said anything that bad to be honest. She's pointed out you like to wrap up warm, in a bit of a (lame) jokey way. But if it bothers you you, can use any of the comments above and see if it shuts her up.

I like to dress warmly too and if anyone comments, I just say something like "I hate being sue me!"

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