Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Harassed by my ex and now being abused by his gf

(4 Posts)
justbartleby Sun 19-Feb-17 15:34:12

I hadn't seen my ex for over 20 years when he sent me a friend request on Facebook. The usual catch up on what's been happening in our lives, fine.
Then he starts commenting on everything I post, liking everything to the point I start filtering him off posts. He also starts texting and emailing.
I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable with all this - I'm happily married and he has a girlfriend - though he tried to claim he was single.
Things took a turn for the worse when he sent a load of dick pics one night, declared we should never have split up and begged to meet me. I told him to stop, and blocked him. He then ups the texts/emails, so I say if he doesn't stop I'll go to the police. In a moment of madness I found details of his girlfriend and sent copies of his text/emails to her. This unleashed the crazy. I'd blocked him on everything, so the abuse started from his girlfriend and her family and friends. Death threats, phone calls, abusive letters. And then a call from the police. Apparently I had been abusing him and his girlfriend. I was so shocked. I gave all my new details to this police officer. And just burst into tears when I put the phone down. I decided to go to the police myself. Upshot is, there had been no complaint made against me, and and no one from their police station had called me. I had just given my new email and phone number to an imposter. (I think he got my landline number illegally as he works for the emergency services and i am ex directory).
The police then gave him and his girlfriend a formal warning about harassing me and they have been warned not to contact me. I'm still very shaken up by this though. I was completely taken in, thinking my ex was just being friendly at first, and feel very vulnerable. Thankfully these dreadful people don't live near me, but I live in dread of someone turning up at my home or work. How do I get past this? My husband has been very supportive, but it has really knocked my confidence.

redexpat Sun 19-Feb-17 17:22:51

Oh golly I'm not surprised youre feeling shaken. Can you afford counselling? Could the police recommend any victim support groups or contact? Any chance you could just get away for a week?

honeyroar Sun 19-Feb-17 20:21:44

I bet you were shaken. Was it recently? What a weirdo!! And why would his friends/family/girlfriend get involved? Just strange. I expect the police giving him a formal warning will have scared them off and you won't hear from any of them again, and if not don't hesitate to go back to the police.

justbartleby Mon 20-Feb-17 00:18:20

It all kicked off about 5 months ago. I think from the abuse I got he's turned round and told his girlfriend that I'm obsessed with him - I dumped him in 1994! I've been thinking about having counselling - it's affected me quite badly.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: