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I'm ending the affair

(186 Posts)
Userr123 Sun 19-Feb-17 12:25:43

So last month I posted on here how is had a very intense and passionate affair with a colleague, we are both married.
He's returning from paternity leave tomorrow, we've not spoken for a fortnight.
So it's difficult, we work together.
I am just going to text in the morning, saying I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore, and avoid all calls.
I will see him in the office, but hope we can just be professional.
I have no intension of getting into any discussions about it with him, I'll get emotional.
Thoughts please.

Nomoreworkathome Sun 19-Feb-17 12:27:37

What do you want? A medal?
What on earth are you expecting people to say about it??? Well done??

yousignup Sun 19-Feb-17 12:28:24

It'll be very tough but you are absolutely doing the right thing.

RabidHarpy Sun 19-Feb-17 12:28:38


TooMuchNoiseInHere Sun 19-Feb-17 12:28:43


Beachedwh4le Sun 19-Feb-17 12:34:23

I'd probably try and have a face to face conversation to be honest. Possibly after just having had a child his perspective will be different too and he may be happy things are over. Good luck flowers

Userr123 Sun 19-Feb-17 12:38:02

Thanks beached, great advice

Shortandsweet20 Sun 19-Feb-17 12:43:38

Well done for making the right decision, I imagine it will be awkward but he may have changed his mind after having a baby too!!

FellOutOfBed2wice Sun 19-Feb-17 12:45:01

Only way with affairs is to cut them off at the source. Good luck.

Mombie2016 Sun 19-Feb-17 12:47:05


Ellisandra Sun 19-Feb-17 12:48:36

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 19-Feb-17 12:50:13

Are you going to let your husband know who you really are?

Imi22sleeping Sun 19-Feb-17 12:50:33

People will flame you for the fact you had an affair but your doing the rihht thing if i thought my husband had had a affair when i was pregnant or with a newborn it would have killed me. His poor.wife . Stay away and sort your own mess out. Does your husband know

MadMags Sun 19-Feb-17 12:50:48

Thoughts please?

What thoughts? For what purpose?

Do you want everyone to congratulate you for finding a shred of decency in yourself?

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Sun 19-Feb-17 12:51:21

hmm Well get yourself a medal and what an amazing person you are for no longer wanting to bounce on his cock I'm sure his partner and child would be over joyed with how selfless you are being

Beachedwh4le Sun 19-Feb-17 12:52:24

Not sure why people think it's helpful to just flame the OP. If you can't offer constructive advice just avoid these topics

Userr123 Sun 19-Feb-17 12:52:38

No, our partners don't know. Only person is his best friend.

I know what we were doing was very wrong, the last 2 weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster, I've missed him very much, but I know there's no going back.

yousignup Sun 19-Feb-17 12:58:42

Now is the right time. Stick by it. I wouldn't have a face to face conversation. It's obvious why you are ending it. Meeting might make it continue.

Imi22sleeping Sun 19-Feb-17 13:03:58

It kind of speaka volumes he hasnt spoken to you since the birth of his child x

TrippyMcTrapFace Sun 19-Feb-17 13:04:21

Just had a look at your original thread that you mentioned OP.

I think your thread title for this one is rather misleading.

In your original thread you said "He still wants to speak like before (on our commutes into work), but no more physical contact. But I know it will be too hard as I still want so much more."

That's rather different to how you're portraying it here. You've been dumped by this guy who has suddenly found a teeny bit of conscience now that his youngest child has been born. If you have feelings for him beyond just sex, you will probably need to leave your job.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Sun 19-Feb-17 13:05:53

Not sure what you want people to say... well some for not continuing to shag each other behind your partners backs hmm

Ellisandra Sun 19-Feb-17 13:05:55

I think the flaming is constructive actually.
This OP clearly needs a reminder of what is decent behaviour.
So a flaming might might just remind her if she wobbles again in a few weeks time that her behaviour was really shitty.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 19-Feb-17 13:06:39

where are the thoughts about your husband? or his wife?

Greenfingeredfun Sun 19-Feb-17 13:09:55

I thought he'd already finished it with you?!

PigletWasPoohsFriend Sun 19-Feb-17 13:10:05

Not sure why people think it's helpful to just flame the OP. If you can't offer constructive advice just avoid these topics

So what do you want people to say? Carry on your affair, no one is getting hurt?

Pat OP on the head and say there there?

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