I feel upset and annoyed.
My dh during the 14 years or so we've lived together as a couple WILL NOT STOP moving my stuff. Nowadays I'm lucky - he used to throw my things away.
He came to live in my family home with myself and dh years ago. imagine my confusion when expensive items went missing and he admitted to chucking them our or medicine to be ket in the fridge was found ina cupboard this dangerous to still use!!
I've always been so busy, running a business and with two small children one with SN, when i lived alone I always knew where EVERYTHING was and could put my hand on it.
I have cried, shouted told him i cannot live with him just re-homing things as he chooses. He will apologise but hey presto, as if my magic it ALWAYS happens again. He likes all surfaces to be clear but although that LOOKS nice he will just put anything absolutely anywhere.
He also used to throw my birthday or xmas chocs away or give them to one of the kids if he had had enough because he binges on sweet thing but I always used to just want to eat a couple at a time over a few weeks. No they have to be got rid of once he has finished having what he wants of them.
I've also told him, when we pack to go somewhere, not to do things like put outside shoes on top of my coats or cloths (there could be traces of anything on them) he still does this and will not stop.
When a man recently came to change our electric meter, he cleared my fishtank accessories out of the cupboard which are ket in the same cupboard the meter is in, and put the mall back - fine but he took a very small device which I use clean the bubble tube of the fish tank and he walked to the shed - which is not even close to the house, and put it in a different box and stashed it in there.
His excuse was that 'there was too much stuff in the kitchen' - well this item is for one thing, rather small so not much difference to space savedthere, for another thing there is actually loads of room in the cupboard where it goes, and for another, I would expect it to be to hand when I open the cupboard in the middle of cleaning out my tank because that is where it LIVES!!
I feel so disrespected and it makes me feel confused, like I'm losing my mind when small essential things just go missing, not to mention important paperwork at times.
In one argument when, yet again, I couldn't find something when it wasn't exactly where i keep it he said 'Alright, alright, stop shouting, just ASK'. I do not want to ASK for something when I KNOW exactly where I keep it just because he decided to put it in the attic or something.
It just feels so rude. I don't want to leave him for it although i nearly did at first when I felt he was taking over my carefully run household, it's not the worst thing he could do but I just HATE it so much.
I used to be a person who ran a house with two small children by myself and knew where to find everything, now, I could not tell you where certain important items are because i imagine they will not be where I left them and they will have moved several times since I last saw them.
I've mostly stopped cooking now the kids are grown up and gone, he can't cook but kept on moving my utensils and changing the cupboard so i couldn't put my hand on thngs when i needed. He doesn't always even put them away tidy, he just sort of crams things in somewhere where i don;t want them. I always said to him, whoever cooks the meals gets to decide where the utensils live ...but no. 
I love dh an he is mostly kind and supportive and loves me but he just can't stop doing this and I can't cope with the confusion.
Just for further info, he has over the years been upset with hims self and blamed it on OCD, which I do think he has slightly, but it makes me so very upset and feel like my homes not my own. I think it's so presumptious to move someone else's belongings around, I would never presume to move his, I don't like how he has HIS stuff all the time but wouldn't move it out of respect for him.
I'm off the the gym to unwind a bit now but if anyone has advice for me I'd be grateful.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Dh moves my stuff around
NewnessMoo · 19/02/2017 11:17
Could everything have a "home"/correct place to live and you both agree where that is so if he wants to tidy up he has to put in the correct place?
I couldn't cope with such shellfish behaviour tbh DH threw a few things away that he didn't think were important, we now agree that he can put stuff to one side and "make" me go through them and agree what can get binned/given away etc. A few times he just didn't know what stuff was for and assumed it was unimportant 
Wow, it all sounds very difficult. I've had issues with my DP over the years but really minor by comparison. I would definitely start practising detachment. I don't mean this flippantly, but when we have a lot of resistance to something, we tend to attract it.
Other than that... A very dear friend of mine was with her lovely and much-loved partner for about 30 years before she died. They lived apart. It worked for them.
Good luck with it. 
Totally get you OP. My DH used to do similar (not quite as bad) and eventually responded (a bit) to me going crazy when I couldn't find something again.
But my DH has a family history involving OCD and definitely has tendencies. So I let it go a bit, for some things and he made an effort for some others..and I get annoyed about the rest 
The shouting doesn't really work though, because we can't should as much as the compulsion is strong. You definitely need some things that are 100% under your control and he can't touch (important documents would be one). If he can't respect that then I would suggest you both visit the GP together (not him alone, because you can give an important insight on what's happening).
Also, is there a time when he is worse? Like when he's stressed about work? Or something else? Figuring out any patterns can also help.
But, and this is important, it's his problem to solve. You can be with him and assist, but any changes have to come from him. Don't wear yourself out with it.
Sounds more like a control issue than OCD. If he moves things you have to ask him where they are so he gets to choose to give your things back to you.
I love the idea of cutting up or binning something of his every single time he moves something of yours
alsodoI am so grateful to you all and will process all these answers, I promise. This has been so helpful to know I'm not alone and three are answers to this
Also do salute you Bluntness, I do agree with what you did to save your possessions!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.