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I left him now what ?

(3 Posts)
Whattodowhattodo22 Sun 19-Feb-17 09:44:27

Name changed for this. I was with my exdp for 3 years 1 dc together and I have 3 dcs from a previous relationship. I ended it 4 weeks ago and he was ea to my kids and me I couldn't see it whilst I was with him I lost all my family and friends no one came to visit me I had no one because of him he would often say you don't need them you have me, I finally realized what was going on and left him got him out of the house with the police involvement and changed the locks. My dcs are so much happier now and being kids I have all my family and friends back again but my exdp wants to be friends like texting meet up when DC are away for the day with there dad and I have been texting him and agreed to it yesterday but then changed my mind and made up some excuse that I was going to my mates house for a catch up and he wasn't nasty about it but has mh issues and was saying oh I need you in my life to help me through it he sees our DC 3 times a week and nc with my dcs as they are petrified off him. So what do I do carry on being civil and leave it there no meet ups or to save any shit just talk to him but after how he treated my dcs I can't get past it. Thanks

noego Sun 19-Feb-17 09:59:06

Total NC. Except for DC change over and if that can be done remotely then do that. Think of your emotional health first and foremost. If he starts using DC for leverage then remove DC as well.

jeaux90 Sun 19-Feb-17 10:08:08

Yep what noego said. He was being abusive and the only rule is no contact or very limited contact on text and only about the dc handovers and logistics.

Don't engage in anything about his life or needs. Even when he gets the rage on or anything do not respond.

Seeing as you made the commitment to see him you may want to reset his expectations although you are not obliged to. You can say something like "we have history but we need to move on with our lives so I would rather we keep our communications about the dc, appreciate that will be hard but it's best for us to be able to co-parent effectively"

Well done for being strong and moving on xx

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