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Freaked out at first kiss

(8 Posts)
Whatsthiss Sun 19-Feb-17 08:36:44

Name changed to post this. Going to try to keep this brief, no idea what to make of it and hoping for some opinions/insights.

Been divorced for 2 years, dating again for 8 months. Dated a few people, but nothing has stuck.

Last week I went on the best first date ever. Because of childcare and other things we both already had planned, we had been talking online for about 3 weeks before we were able to meet. We had a lot of fun together, talked loads and easily, and there was definitely that looking into your eyes spark. But at the end of the date we kissed and I completely freaked out. My brain was flooded with terrifying thoughts of him stalking me, attacking me - really unpleasant stuff.

What on earth is all that about?!!?

Imi22sleeping Sun 19-Feb-17 09:58:53

Cos you read mumsnet. My marriage is being destroyed cos of all yhe stuff i make up about my husband cos i read on this thread

Believeitornot Sun 19-Feb-17 10:01:22

Cos you read mumsnet hmm

If you have a marriage problem, maybe a tiny part of you knows that and you read the relationship board threads. If you were happy why would you read them? As they have no relevance surely?

Anyway, OP, maybe it's because it's been such a long time and you felt threatened? What happened when you freaked?

Shayelle Sun 19-Feb-17 10:25:39

Did you have a traumatic time with your ex? Just take things very slowly and carefully, really get to know this person before letting him far into your life. And enjoy it!

CaoNiMa Sun 19-Feb-17 10:32:46

lmi22 really? I think you might need to spend less time online...

Imi22sleeping Sun 19-Feb-17 10:34:04

Me too

Imi22sleeping Sun 19-Feb-17 10:34:50

Are you not happy beleive?

Whatsthiss Sun 19-Feb-17 11:43:53

Thanks. Nothing happened as such, I just had these awful thoughts and tried to ignore them because it felts nuts after such a lovely date!

There's certainly some truth in having had some scary relationships in the past - not ExH. Yes, threatened is exactly the right word actually.
Slow and steady is definitely the plan. And he's totally on board with that.

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