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Feel so empty and low, he's doing fine though!

(7 Posts)
Chlo01 Sun 19-Feb-17 08:20:15

I'm really struggling to feel any happiness about life at the moment after finding out about cheating.

I don't know the extent of it but he was actively seeking out sex with multiple women while with me, while I was pregnant. This included sending and receiving explicit photos, and claiming he's been single for a while. He also tried it on with one of my friends (!?!?) shamelessly, when she outed him, he completely denied it and said she was either making it up, or someone had been using his social media accounts.

Even to now he's refused to admit any of it which I think makes it harder. Even though I've acknowledged what a shit person he is, I still feel so down about it all. No idea if he is going to be in our child's life, or to what extent - I don't even think he's told his family/friends he has a baby on the way sad. Like he's ashamed of us.

I feel like I'll never stop feeling how I do now and feeling hurt/attached etc. I haven't given him any emotional reaction what so ever so far as I don't want to give him the satisfaction.

Would also love to hear from anyone else been fucked over by a complete bastard and got over it!

flowers

FritzDonovan Sun 19-Feb-17 08:48:05

Sorry he's so crap flowers
You're right, it is much harder when they deny something you know is a fact.
I had something along these lines (actively seeking sex) a long time ago. I had gotten over it though it took a long time, and honestly wouldn't have said I had any doubts about his honesty at all by that point (by now a sahm with kids).
Ff to a number of months ago, some dodgy things came up which now have me questioning him all over again. I would say that if you do want to patch things up its possible, but you need to make him understand that you will leave if he messes you around again. Try to make sure you are as independent from him as possible, financially, etc.
If you are leaving, good on you! Make sure ppl know why, don't keep his sordid secrets for him. I wish I had done that at the time!

Holly3434 Sun 19-Feb-17 08:49:40

You'll soon realise you'll get happiness when he's completely out of your life. You say he's ashamed of you, let him because he's the only one everyone else should be ashamed of. Concentrate on you and your child

ClemDanfango Sun 19-Feb-17 08:53:46

It's in the cheaters script to never admit anything for as long as possible, maybe never.
You're very strong to have not shown an emotional reaction to him, that's amazing if you!
I'm sorry he's treated you so badly but it sounds like you've had a very lucky escape from a cheating user.

Nicky42 Sun 19-Feb-17 18:23:53

I was fucked over by a complete bastard. Can I point you in the direction of a website called "chump lady"? I spent hours reading through the archives etc. And I can't tell you how much it helped me get over my cheating ex. I am now several months down the line from where you are and I've been dating a lovely guy and I've realised just how unhappy the ex made me. It gets better I promise you!

Greaterexpectations Sun 19-Feb-17 18:38:01

Another vote for chump lady here. Keep googling and reading as much as you can. It will get better!

Another vote for chumplady.com - when you get to the kind of archives that help you most, there will be a object tags at the bottom that take you into categories of archives, if you dig. So you can focus on that aspect. Or just generally browse loads. Great reading and very funny!

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