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No sex or affection for nearly 2 months....does he still love me?

(11 Posts)
Fedupd0tcom Sat 18-Feb-17 23:25:21

Totally fed up.

Think DH doesn't love me anymore.

For nearly 2 months there has been no action in the bedroom department.

Then for 6 months prior to that I could probably count times the action occurred on one hand.

It could be because I'm having gynae health scare, so I'm scared and he's stressed at work, as am I. But there's never even a kiss goodnight. A cuddle is a rarity. We do nothing together. He's always staring at his phone. We talk and he's vacant. confused We've been together over a decade and been married for nearly a decade with one precious LO. I just wish I felt he loved me. He says I love you a lot but he never seems to show it. We did nothing for Valentine's. If we get a babysitter I have to plan the date. If we go on holiday I have to book and plan it. He just doesn't seem to care about me. Tonight, our lo was suddenly ill when we went for dinner. He did nothing to help me care for LO. He left me alone in car with LO. Ate his dinner and chatted to his parents who were there. Didn't care that I hadn't had any dinner yet. Didn't offer to help care for LO. Useless man. At least ils helped out. He did nothing. Maybe I'm being a cow but I just feel so alone in this marriage. We're not a team. We've had problems a few years ago due to him being emotionally distant to me since our lo norm when he found out he had s chronic illness. I lost a parent a couple of years ago and the other one is chronically ill. Maybe he's sick of me putting my dp and lo before him or me always working. Maybe he's fed up of me being fat. Maybe he is fed up of me full stop. I feel so alone and don't know what to do. Help. I still love him. I just wish I felt that he felt the same about me.

Fedupd0tcom Sat 18-Feb-17 23:27:47

Sorry that should read we have had problems since our lo was born as he was diagnosed with a chronic illness and I had pnd. What a tough few years. I wish there was some light somewhere.

Orlandointhewilderness Sat 18-Feb-17 23:28:07

I think you need to have an honest and frank conversation with him.

Fedupd0tcom Sat 18-Feb-17 23:29:02

My dh has illness. Not lo. We both adore our lo and always try to do the best for her. Not that I get it right, most of the time sad.

Fedupd0tcom Sat 18-Feb-17 23:30:45

I have tried to talk with him. He just talks over me. Goes on the defensive. Shouts at me and storms off to sulk. He also refuses marriage counselling, which he deems too expensive and a waste of time or 'training for divorce'....

Fedupd0tcom Sat 18-Feb-17 23:43:30

I also try to cook him romantic meals. Make an effort to look nice. Etc. He doesn't notice a thing

Naicehamshop Sat 18-Feb-17 23:55:30

It's difficult to know what to say to this but it does sound as if he has checked out of the relationship. sad

Fedupd0tcom Sun 19-Feb-17 00:03:05

I say to him I'll leave if this continues. He gets upset and says 'why' but then 'I can't stop you can I?'

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Sun 19-Feb-17 00:15:24

Sit down together and ask that he let you speak without interuption. It's cards on the table time and you need to be honest. Tell him you love him dearly and you want your marriage to last. Tell him what you said in your op -you fear he no longer loves you and you miss the intimacy and affection in your relationship.

Could it be a side effect of medication/illness? He might have money worries if he can't work? Could he be insecure about his illness and you saying you'll leave? flowers

Fedupd0tcom Sun 19-Feb-17 00:18:49

I have been an idiot. I've said I'll leave so many times because the wall between us is breaking me. I think it could be medicine side effects and work stresses for us both. We're both so insecure. I keep thinking everyone I love will leave me. I am looking at the prospect of a possible cancer scare and he has been facing the prospect of losing his job for 6 years. Nightmare.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Sun 19-Feb-17 00:53:54

Be kind to yourself and your DH. Life isn't always plain sailing. Be honest with each other. It's a natural response to be defensive if one feels under threat or insecure. I think you explain it well in your op. It will get better flowers

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