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When is a date not a date?

(17 Posts)
user1484478904 Sat 18-Feb-17 22:49:21

Person (in a co-habiting relationship) goes out for a drink/meal with a person of the gender that they are attracted to. Person does not tell their partner about this, but lies and says they were going out with work colleagues.
Date or not a date?
Opinions please

NotTheFordType Sat 18-Feb-17 22:50:46

Impossible to tell on information provided.

Did the night end with sex? If so, it was a date.

PhoenixJasmine Sat 18-Feb-17 22:52:36

Does it matter? They lied to their partner. Surely that's the issue. Not the definition of what they were lying about doing.

80schild Sat 18-Feb-17 22:53:30

Why lie if platonic? I would question further (and raise an eyebrow).

WhooooAmI24601 Sat 18-Feb-17 22:54:41

The lie is what makes it a date. I spend time with friends away from DH often. He spends time away from me. Neither of us needs to lie to the other. Once you cross that line of needing to hide something, you're clearly doing something wrong.

FritzDonovan Sat 18-Feb-17 22:54:45

Lie indicates they didn't want you to know, probably as you wouldn't like it. If it wasn't a date I assume you would be fine (eg old friends getting together), therefore the fact you wouldn't like it indicates it was a date imo.
Hiding = untrustworthy = date

Want2bSupermum Sat 18-Feb-17 22:58:36

*Did the night end with sex? If so, it was a date.* I went on plenty of dates where it ended with a peck on the cheek and a 'goodnight, thank you for taking me out' before I shut the door and went to bed on my own.

I am hetrosexual and was out last night with 5 guys from work. One guy walked me to the subway stop. It was not a date. I am a married mother of 3 DC and he has a GF he cohabits with. I also had coffee last week with a colleague who left. He is male and I female. To others, I can see how it could look like a date but it wasn't at all.

Sweets101 Sat 18-Feb-17 22:59:44

Date or not, they lied. Why?

user1484478904 Sat 18-Feb-17 23:16:43

Evening ended with a kiss from the other person (completely out of the blue!) Other person claimed sex was had in the car. 'Person' claims this to be untrue.
Other person claims constant calls and texts. 'Person' claims untrue.

DeterminedToChange Sat 18-Feb-17 23:19:20

If the 'person' is your husband/partner, I'd believe the woman he was on a date with, personally.

FritzDonovan Sun 19-Feb-17 00:03:49

Sounds bad. Has 'other person' any reason to lie? Are the texts still around (also check with 'other person', if they are adamant they happened.)
Would also believe the 'other person' they were out with, 'person' has been caught out, of course they are going to lie.

TheStoic Sun 19-Feb-17 03:28:24

Well, it's cheating. Does it matter if you call it a 'date'?

chitofftheshovel Sun 19-Feb-17 03:33:04

Very bloody cryptic.

LellyMcKelly Sun 19-Feb-17 03:58:50

Yup, that's a date.

EyeStye Sun 19-Feb-17 04:11:34

Does it need a label? I'd listen to your instincts and the lies

VirgilsStaff Sun 19-Feb-17 09:55:25

It's a date because of the lie about it.

ImperialBlether Sun 19-Feb-17 10:01:40

Since the other person is talking about what happened, I think they should be asked for proof of these multiple calls/texts. If I saw proof of them, I'd believe the rest without hesitation.

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