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Anyone got married to someone they find unattractive

(31 Posts)
Holly3434 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:28:21

My friend recently got married, and her DH says that she's unattractive and doesn't compare to other women. Wondered if people actually do marry those they find unattractive

NSEA Sat 18-Feb-17 19:34:44

Well he obviously has.

TheSnowFairy Sat 18-Feb-17 19:35:02


treaclesoda Sat 18-Feb-17 19:37:59

Her DH is an arsehole.

My sister married a man who constantly told her how unattractive she was and how lucky she was that he tolerated her. Took 20 years of emotional abuse before she gathered up the strength to leave.

Gottabeaneasierway Sat 18-Feb-17 19:39:07

Why oh why would he say that? And why would he marry her if he felt like that?

Only1scoop Sat 18-Feb-17 19:40:31

How odd why on earth has she married him?
I'm guessing he's Tom Hardy?

LadyOfTheCanyon Sat 18-Feb-17 19:42:45

He sounds like a controlling abusive cunt to be honest.
I've been out with loads of men in my time who if shown a photo of "cold" would say " nahhh" to, but once met, their other qualities shine through and make them more attractive which then affects how you feel about them as a whole.
The idea of marrying someone to whom you'd be prepared to say something so callous is just awful.

TooMuchNoiseInHere Sat 18-Feb-17 19:43:55

Why would she have anything to do with him, let alone marry him, if she knew that's how he felt about her?confused

Newmother8668 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:45:30

Those are the worst type of control freak jerks. In fact, do you ever notice when someone loves someone for them, they both become even more beautiful/good looking? So it's bs that people are just unattractive all the time. I was a tomboy just before my DH and then I just blossomed when we fell in love. I'm still not the beauty of a group, but I feel beautiful because my DH and I love each other for the person as a whole.

Holly3434 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:46:26

This happened after they married he never said anything before, this is what I don't understand why he'd marry her knowing. I can't do anything but listen to her at the moment as she's not willing to leave

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 18-Feb-17 19:47:19

Any man who repeatedly unfavourably compared me to other women better be Hugh Jackman who wouldn't do that because he's lovely.

Why on earth would she marry him? Or him her? Unless he's an abusive wanker...

Gottabeaneasierway Sat 18-Feb-17 19:47:50

So has he just told her or has he made this public knowledge?

Holly3434 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:48:39

Told her, she was upset So confided in me that's how I know about this

stubbornstains Sat 18-Feb-17 19:50:13

This has nothing to do with how attractive he finds her, and everything to do with his desire to control and belittle her now that he has "trapped" her. Here's hoping she manages to escape ASAP.

Only1scoop Sat 18-Feb-17 19:51:06

He sounds controlling trying to knock her confidence.
What a cunt.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:52:18

My ex did this - but with a bit more subtlety than your friends husband. Told me he didn't find me physically attractive but that was ok because he loved me hmm Not helped by the fact that he was really vain and thought that he was gods gift.

The main point to take from my post is the word ex. I might not be the most beautiful woman in the world but I can do better than that - and so can your friend.

measles64 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:53:50

I married a man who would not be considered conventionally attractive but he has in the main been a good husband looks are not what you need in the long run.

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 18-Feb-17 19:54:01

I agree with stubbornstains. Her husband is trying to destroy her self-esteem, so that it becomes easier to manipulate her. Basically he's not looking for a wife, he's looking for a domestic appliance-sextoy-skivvy-slave. It's emotional abuse, and for her sanity, she need to get rid of him. sad

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Sat 18-Feb-17 19:56:36

He's a cunt, why would he say that otherwise?
As has already been said we can take it he'd give Tom Hardy a run for his money no? hmm

dontcallmethatyoucunt Sat 18-Feb-17 19:56:36

Melania? Bet the blush if the money is all worn off now.

Holly3434 Sat 18-Feb-17 20:01:49

No her DH isn't all that not ugly but average looking guy. What shall I do to help her?

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Sat 18-Feb-17 20:06:21

Tell her to get rid of the disrespectful twat would be a start.

novemberontrumpwatch Sat 18-Feb-17 20:08:39

One word: annulment.

Adnerb95 Sat 18-Feb-17 20:13:00

As other PPs have said, classic controlling behaviour. Always deferred until after the marriage. No future for this relationship, sadly.

MeadowHay Sat 18-Feb-17 20:18:05

He sounds like an evil wankstain!! Encourage her to leave him, I'm sure she can do some much better than "abusive"! How awful.

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