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Update on husband wanting to sleep with other people- turns out he has

(50 Posts)
User2410 Sat 18-Feb-17 11:27:00

I wrote a post a few weeks ago, H going through police training and said he needed a break after a week being away. Left me dangling and saying he wasn't sure whether we could work things out. That he hadn't slept with anyone else but was open to the fact that it would happen if we carriEd on being apart.
We spent a weekend together without kids and we've been sleeping with each other when he's home. I asked him if he wanted to see me this weekend or if we should just give it some time until he clears his head but he said we would see each other. So he came home and ended up having sex. But it was different he was rough and forceful. Then we had a chat where he said he felt bad for what had happened because his feelings weren't clear still. He said that it was the kids who were getting in the way of us fixing things basically. We have a 5 year old and 2 year old. And this question just eventually came out of my mouth. Have u slept with someone else. And he said yes. A year ago when working away. Don't even think he usEd a condom. I feel sick and violated. I guess this is the end.
I know I only have one option and that's to move on with my life.

picklemepopcorn Sat 18-Feb-17 11:28:41

There are so many things wrong in what you have just described. I'm so sorry.

TheStoic Sat 18-Feb-17 11:30:16

Blaming the kids?

Wow. That's a new low.

I'm so sorry he's done this. You must be hurting terribly. :-(

ImperialBlether Sat 18-Feb-17 11:33:52

I agree - all of that sounds wrong on so many levels.

You're right - you need a life without this man. Given his attitude to his own children, I'd assume he wasn't going to spend much time with them, either. What a prize prick he is.

Do you know how to find out all your entitlements and child maintenance?

IgnatiusReilly Sat 18-Feb-17 11:51:51

I'm so terribly sorry. I remember your previous thread - your DH is really trying to do a number on you.

You must be devastated right now. Do you have anyone in RL you can talk to?

GotToGetMyFingerOut Sat 18-Feb-17 11:58:20

I remember your last thread. So sorry. Yeah I think you need to move on. Firstly, it is never going to work with a man who is jealous of his own children. Secondly he's cheated, once I doubt it? They tend to minimise massively. Three, the being rough with you hmm you are absolutely right you need to move on. You deserve better.

Bob19701 Sat 18-Feb-17 12:01:32

Blaming his own children !!! ...What a selfish waste of space as a man and father , get shut and never look back .

EmilyRosanne Sat 18-Feb-17 12:05:08

sad that's awful. You and your DC deserve so much better, and I say that as someone who stayed with a man for 7 years that was no good for me, I would try to leave many times and he would end up winning me over, so I do know it's much easier said than done but you will be so much happier when you do.

How can he possibly blame the innocent children that he went off with somebody else?! Disgusting! angry

FritzDonovan Sat 18-Feb-17 12:07:21

He's a bastard. flowers
He also sounds as if he's anticipating doing it all over again.
His choice to be apart because of his chosen career, yet it's the kids fault? What a loser. He doesn't deserve you and the kids.

Thewikileak Sat 18-Feb-17 12:09:45

You need to stop sleeping with him for sure.

EightiethElement Sat 18-Feb-17 12:11:53

oh boy. Make sure you don't get stuck with 100% of the childcare when he goes off to lead his new shagging life

Costacoffeeplease Sat 18-Feb-17 12:13:57

What a bastard. They're all so fucking predictable

I can't see you can come back from this, and take a trip to your local GUM clinic for a check up too

GeekLove Sat 18-Feb-17 12:15:05

You also need to get a STI test

Serialweightwatcher Sat 18-Feb-17 12:15:10

Agreeing with "he's a bastard" - so sorry flowers

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Sat 18-Feb-17 12:21:24

Sorry op, what a shit situation flowers

MinesaLattecino Sat 18-Feb-17 12:23:21

how 'forceful'? Did you want to carry on or stop? Did he know the answer to that question?

Miserylovescompany2 Sat 18-Feb-17 12:26:24

I'm sorry OP, you've basically allowed him to use you as a fuck hole! He removed himself emotionally a long time ago. Pick up what's left of your dignity and self respect from off the floor then kick the sorry excuse for a human being out of your life.

He despises you and your children. He most likely has a deep seated hatred for all females.

SuperFlyHigh Sat 18-Feb-17 12:26:31

Sorry what a terrible situation but at least you've found out the truth. flowers

He shouldn't be blaming the kids, you need a new life and also an STI test.

Thinking of you. Is there anyone around in real life to give you support?

justanotheryoungmother Sat 18-Feb-17 12:34:02

I'm really sorry OPsadflowers

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 18-Feb-17 12:43:06

So he's randomly changed his mind about having kids when the kids already exist.

What a prick.

PoorYorick Sat 18-Feb-17 12:46:17

What a useless cowardly fleshwaste.

Dadaist Sat 18-Feb-17 12:46:52

That's just horrible OP- I'm so sorry 🌹

southall Sat 18-Feb-17 13:09:16

From his perspective since the kids were born there hasn't been enough sex in the relationship.
Im sorry your marriage has to end with him cheating on you.
Seems obvious he regrets having kids.
I would guess he never really wanted children, but did so as it is the expected thing for married couples to do.

OliviaStabler Sat 18-Feb-17 13:11:58

I'm sorry OP, you've basically allowed him to use you as a fuck hole! He removed himself emotionally a long time ago. Pick up what's left of your dignity and self respect from off the floor then kick the sorry excuse for a human being out of your life.

Sorry, but this ^^

MusicIsMedicine Sat 18-Feb-17 13:38:06

Why is he blaming the kids for him sleeping with someone else?

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