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**Trigger warning from MNHQ** "Need help, my father is abusive but can't leave "

(68 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:03:38

Since I was 13/14, I have been suffering from physical and sexual violence from my dad. It has been very horrible. I just spoke up about it a couple of months back. Until then I had it all within me for the last 9-10 years. I've just had enough of him now. I am also fearing being forced into marriage. I still feel I am too young for all that to happen to soon in my life now. I want to share with you a part of my life which is as follows ,

At the age of 14 (2007), he sneakily began to touch me inappropriately and this has continued to happen since then . The first time it ever happened was one day after school when it was the end of the day , time to go home. That day I was supposed to go home with my best friend but that got cancelled and I had to go home with dad as he came to collect me , he was waiting for me at the school gates, waiting to take me home. Nevertheless did I know that I was going to be attacked as soon as I got home . As soon as we entered the house , torture began. He forced me to take my clothes off and undress in front of him so that he could enjoy. He had forced me to have sex with him.I was very frightened and scared to act on anything or to do anything about it as I was in a lot of fear . I was forced to watch the dirty naked movie scenes on his laptop and then forced to go in the shower with him; whereby he would torture me , make me unconscious and then rape me and leave me there to deal with it .

Then at the age of 17/18, he still continued to do that but it kept on getting more frequent with more and more amount of torture.

Now I am 21 , and it's still happening on a regular basis. I just feel like there is no end to it , even though I have tried my utter best to make it stop by going to the police for help; but even then I was forced my grandparents and my uncle to withdraw my statement that I had given with regards to dad.

I really need some helpful advice from you all to help make this stop somehow .

FookyNell Fri 17-Feb-17 22:07:27

www.womensaid.org.uk/

Chickpearocker Fri 17-Feb-17 22:10:58

Contact karma nirvana www.karmanirvana.org.uk/contact/

They help stop forced marriages

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:13:21

Ok many thanks , I will definitely have a look at these sites

ememem84 Fri 17-Feb-17 22:13:24

Agree. Woman's aid can gelp

HardcoreLadyType Fri 17-Feb-17 22:14:29

Southall Black Sisters are another charity who will be able to help.

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:15:33

Okay , sure
Thanks a lot

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 22:17:29

Can you leave the house tomorrow and go back to the police?

BurningBridges Fri 17-Feb-17 22:18:04

Can you give us some idea which part of the country you are in so we can suggest local as well as national organisations?

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:19:07

No I can't leave home tomorrow . I am in London

SarcasmMode Fri 17-Feb-17 22:19:32

Do you have any friends you could stay with for a bit?
Are you allowed to work?
If so maybe seek a job that involves being further afield.

Yes to WA.
Are your uncle and GPS likely to get violent too?

I'm so sorry some people are sick.sad

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:20:34

Uncle n GP are okay people

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 22:21:08

why can't you leave?

Nel1883 Fri 17-Feb-17 22:21:19

Leave right now go into shelter, friends house anywhere!

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:22:11

I ran away from home in November , I had just had enough and wanted to get away from all this that was happening. I stayed at a friends house then for a couple of weeks

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 22:23:05

And then what happened?

RebelRogue Fri 17-Feb-17 22:23:22

Ring women's aid. They will help you to run or go into a refuge. They will advise and support if you want to try the police route again. Are there any friends/family you can live with? Where is your mum? Are you working/studying?

P.s. How come you're only 21 if you were 14 in 2007?

Nel1883 Fri 17-Feb-17 22:24:21

Why did you go back to the abuse?

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:25:02

I can't leave home until I get married if u look at it from a cultural perspective. And if I do I will be cut of from all of my family

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 22:26:38

If you look at it from a cultural perspective I know of no cultures that would not condemn what your father is doing.

Who else lived with you?

NowtAbout Fri 17-Feb-17 22:27:57

You are being very brave.
Contact the organisations above. If your family do cut you off then I am very sad to say they are not worth staying for. Be strong. You all have ready have been.

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:28:19

It all stated in 2009, when I was 13

Nel1883 Fri 17-Feb-17 22:28:27

But jainak do they no what is happening to you? Surely that is reason enough to leave. They must understand that.

Sassypants82 Fri 17-Feb-17 22:29:55

Is your mother there? Can you speak to her??

jainak Fri 17-Feb-17 22:30:12

No one in my family believes me that it is actually happening

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