Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

This has been a long time coming.

(14 Posts)
IamnotatrollIswear Fri 17-Feb-17 21:27:02

First of all, I'm a long time poster. So please bypass the troll-hunting bollocks if you can...please?

I've been married for 7 years, and 5 of those years have been completely DH takes all responsibility for this.

Recently I've been going out with some colleagues on a night out locally, a few weekends a month, and I've actually met a, I guess, Z list celeb at a local venue and I really fancy him.

I could literally meet him right now if I wanted to. Talk me down, MN. I'm just so desperate to feel wanted. sad

Holly3434 Fri 17-Feb-17 21:30:36

Don't see what relevance if he's a A list or z list celebrity is, you need to be honest with your DH first before you even start thinking about doing anything, he deserves to know your unhappy and wish to end it

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 21:30:57

Does your DH know you are unhappy with the situation?

IamnotatrollIswear Fri 17-Feb-17 21:40:14

He does know I'm unsatisfied and just says he's sorry but can't feel intimate right now. Although he said he, literal quote, "Thomas tanks" it when he needs to. confused

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 21:44:08

Do you want to leave him?

IamnotatrollIswear Fri 17-Feb-17 21:44:09

I am so close to just texting B. Life is too fucking short.

BusyHomemaker Fri 17-Feb-17 21:46:49

It's understandable that you are tempted. Five years without a sexual relationship with your OH must be very unfilfilling. It seems to me that you need to have a very frank discussion with your DH. Try and work out the next move with your marriage before you do anything rash.

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 21:46:58

If you were going to do it, you wouldn't be posting on here.

IamnotatrollIswear Fri 17-Feb-17 21:47:36

Smile I'm torn. I think I do? We have a good friendship but lately I feel it's not enough.

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 21:48:05

Any children?

Notrevealingmyidentity Fri 17-Feb-17 21:50:24

There's several things here. The new person, sex drive and your relationship with your husband.

Your relationship with your husband - how is it in other ways ? Has he completely refused to address the issue ?

If so how long are you willing to put up with it for ? Forever ? Or would there be a point at which it would be too much ?

I don't think the other man is really what you need to be focusing on right now.

It's bigger than that.

IamnotatrollIswear Fri 17-Feb-17 22:01:16

DH kind of laughs it off. I don't think he gets that a woman i.e. me would be bothered about a lack of sex life. Any instigation on my part (usually after a few glasses of wine) has been met with embarrassing laughter, and "we don't need to so that anymore!" type of thing. We had a child together and it was like, that was the end of the need for sex.

SmileEachDay Fri 17-Feb-17 22:02:29

Why do you think he doesn't want sex?

Notrevealingmyidentity Fri 17-Feb-17 22:03:32

That's quite sad. Have you sat and talked about it neutrally without it being abou instigating sex and really laid it on the line that it's a deal breaker for you ? (I'm assuming it is) because if you haven't that would be my advice for what to do next.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now