Best way to manage money

[anyname123]

Any thoughts appreciated, I can't work out what's fair and what's not.
DP brings in £1000 more than me, I'm on mat leave. Running the house excluding food costs roughly £1000.
Is it fair that he pays for the house, we both put equal amounts into a savings account, and from our own money pay for our cars / phones etc and do what we like with whatever is left? Or is this not fair because he should have more disposable income becausehe earns more?
Completely joint finances are a no because he likes to buy absolute shit tech / car things etc, which I begrudge, and I'm sure he finds my spending habits annoying too.
DP has no firm opinion, and will do whatever I work out he says, but is this plan fair?

[Chickiwick]

I earn less now as I'm part time after having DS and this is how we do it.

Work out all of the outgoings, including joint savings etc. Then we work out the total of all our income and deduct the expenses. The excess is spending money and we split that equally.

We can do whatever we like with that. My husband save his and I waste mine!

[positivity123]

I think you both should have the same amount of pocket money so you pool your finances for all household bills, cars, phones etc then give yourselves a bit each to do what you want with. Just because he warns more you shouldn't be at a disadvantage for being on maternity leave

[Chickiwick]

We started doing that when I was on mat leave and only ended up with about £150 each a month but now I'm working it's easier.

[SorrelSoup]

Get a spreadsheet and put down all expenses. We include phones, gym, petrol, cost of kids' bits, savings, as household expenses. All money goes into one pot, including child benefit. Whatever is left is halved. He spends on what he wants, same as me; no questions asked. When it's gone it's gone.

[anyname123]

Thanks all! When I go back to work I won't actually be bringing in any more money (going back part time / having childcare vouchers deducted from wages etc), so whatever we decide will probably be a long term arrangement.
In relation to cars, my view is if it gets from A to B and is safe then champion, he is really keen to get a new car for himself, massive upgrade from his, absolutely not essential but very much a "nice to have", is it fair to expect him to pay for this our of his disposable money, or is it a household expense?

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

If he wants a flash car then he should pay for it!!

[SorrelSoup]

I'd just think that I wouldn't be taking on any unnecessary credit/debt with only one salary, but that's because we simply couldn't afford it. Big joint purchases would have to be agreed. If the money is there then I'd probably ask him to pay for it.

[Laylajoh]

If he is so keen on buying a new car, then supoort him. As long as this doesn't cause a precedent AND it doesn't put your finances at risk, I think it should be fine.

[category12]

I'd have all the bills coming out of a mutual pot, plus savings, then whatever is left divided equally between you.

If he has an expensive car but as a family you can afford it, then payments for it too out of the pot. But not for car accessories of the unnecessary kind. It might prove easier to pay for your own cars separately if there's likely to be disagreements over what car things are necessary/unnecessary.