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He's left hand holding needed part 2

(5 Posts)
Alfiemoon1 Thu 16-Feb-17 22:03:48

Ok so I posted months ago about dh texting v a woman at our stables. As he had no previous history of doing anything like this before and the messages that I saw although he did start to delete them and become secretive with phone weren't suggestive and they were no longer in contact I decided against a lot of mums netters advice to try and work at it. He has shown little responsibility and insisted things like him moving to him mums were him digging his heels in about me telling who he can be friends with the contact was ended by her and I had to fight to get him to remove her off facebook. It has caused my not to trust him especially as he insists on having a passcode on his phone but we were moving on me with the attitude if he's up to no good I will find out in the end. No this might sound ridiculous but today I saw v on his WhatsApp but the message deleted none of his other chats are deleted but hers I wasn't snooping I stood behind him while he was sending another message and her no was there not a name so she obviously isn't on his contacts. He tried to turn his phone away so I couldn't see. He said he brought her horse in 2 months ago and she what app to says thanks so if it's innocent why delete the chat. ? I calmly asked him that and he said he thought deleting the chat deleted it all to which I said ffs u know it hasn't as u see he pic every time u use WhatsApp which is daily. So of course he got angry accused me of dragging it up again. if someone can link the original post that may help stupid thing is that it probably was about the horse but it's the secrecy and lies I am struggling with

Oldieandgoldie Thu 16-Feb-17 22:08:46

Somebody on here linked to how to see Whatsapp messages on a computer. (Not an iPad)

Alfiemoon1 Thu 16-Feb-17 22:21:38

I think i would need access to his phone to do something like that and I don't know the passcode. I don't think there is anything going on between them i just struggle to trust him about everything after everything that has gone on and really hoped he would of learnt something from it all obviously not sigh

Alfiemoon1 Thu 16-Feb-17 22:27:14

I've behaved irrationally through it all I've wiped his phone by accident when changing the passcode I've changed his passcode I've screamed at 1 am where's your fucking phone and the kids heard as I thought it was her ringing I don't want to be like that so I drew a line under it and tried to make a go of it so seeing his WhatsApp today his lame excuses and the rant he gave me is making me doubt my judgement yet again

TheNaze73 Fri 17-Feb-17 07:25:25

This sounds toxic, life really doesn't need to be this difficult. If you don't trust him, why don't you end it? The things you are doing with his phone are so irrational & plainly wrong

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