Maybe the collected wisdom of Mumsnet cab come up with a reason for this guy's behaviour; I can't decide on it myself.
I met a man on a dating app and he told me he lived in another town an hour away but was moving to my town in September. Apparently he was living with his parents after splitting with his ex. I really liked him and he was very enthusiastic about me - very nice after a nasty time with my cheating ex of 20 years. I just wanted to enjoy myself, and made that clear, but still he was painting pictures of us moving in together, even getting married at some point (though I didn't take this seriously and also made that clear). He had a ten year old daughter with his ex. Apparently he didn't get on well with his mother so I couldn't visit them yet. Their town is hard to get to without a car so I am not going to turn up on his doorstep.
September came and went and he always had very good reasons why he couldn't move yet. Then a workmate offered him a flat, but it was being renovated so would take a while. It would be next month .... The month after .... The month after that.
As time passes he is less often able to meet at the weekends. It's more often after work, and he can't stay over. And less sex ... apparently at 46 he has aches and pains, and a lower libido. But he is still massively keen, attentive, understanding, GSOH and just comes across really well.
Eventually I decided this looked much too much like him actually still being with his wife for me to ignore, and said as much. He said I would soon see that it was all true when he moved next month, so I said that when he did move he could come and knock at my door and see if I was interested, but that right now I was dating again. He basically says "I'll be back".
So I start dating again, this time trying to make it clear that I just want some fun for now, not a life partner. Find myself someone who is very obviously living alone and happy with something casual.
Still keep getting messages from Mr Maybe Married, though. Still declaring his undying love. Apparently he is not looking for anyone else as still wants me. Sends me Valentine message. Still claiming he is going to move when the latest problems with the flat are sorted but now his hands are tied. Still makes it sound like it might even be true though my head says it is complete nonsense and I tell him that any normal person in that situation would simply find a different flat, and I can't believe a word he says. (He is totally unfazed by this...)
What is this behaviour? What does he get out of it? Not even much sex when we were together. ... is it the ego stroking? Is he so involved in wishful thinking that he has come to believe his story himself? It is total nonsense, right? 
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Relationships
Any clues what this guy is up to?
ravenmum · 16/02/2017 07:11
Yes total nonsense. I expect he's still with his wife and lying comes second nature. Block and mive on with the other guy, Happy dating! 
I did meet a couple of his friends, but not in a situation where they could have discreetly mentioned that he was still with his wife. His best friend and his partner, so he might have given them another story or known they would forgive him. And met some of his work colleagues, but he acted a bit weird in that situation.
He has my landline phone number; I wouldn't know how to block that (appears not to be possible; I'm not in the UK) so I'll have to make it clear that he can't just ring up or appear on my doorstep before I block him on other media.
Hadn't blocked him until now as I didn't want to let go of the dream ... was still kind of hoping against hope that he'd show up with the keys to his new flat. That's infatuation for you 
. Dating has helped me see the light. Mumsnet is doing the rest!
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