Hello all. Im 34 and have two kids aged 15 and 8. Neither father is involved. Ive been with a lovely man for 3 years and its fairly serious. Ive known he may want his own kids but never overly discussed it. Last week he told me he wants us to get married and have a child fairly soon. Hes 42. Im in shock i dont want another child and i suppose i knew this may happen but
It may not be enough for him to have children around, as they are not his, even if they are genuinly interested in him. Still, this is something you must decide. If it is a problem for you and for him, you may go seperate ways ...
Why has it got this far You knew he wanted kids You knew you didn't.
If I was him I would feel like you had wasted his time and been massively cruel in the process. Why did your children have to meet him and get to know him if you knew it would at some point come to a stage when you would both want separate things
Obviously marriage is about giving and taking and if he has given your children a steady home and is a father figure to them, and would make a great husband could you maybe consider it? If he really wants kids this feeling may never go away for him.
I agree, being a step parent is not the same having your own. I would say this is a deal breaker. Neither of you are being unreasonable, you don't have to have anymore but he has the right to want one of his own. Imagine you were only a step mother to his kids and didn't have your own, would you want your own?