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How to move on after 4 years of Groundhog Day?

(1 Post)
DesperatelySeekingClosure Mon 13-Feb-17 22:00:38

I split up with DC's dad 4 years ago. Since then we have been on the same cycle. He be's sad, wants to be around a lot, gives hints about a future together, wants sex. Eventually he gets angry about something and goes off, has a new girlfriend etc. I get on with life, DC, work etc things are better and me and DC tbh are happier. Life is better! Then back he comes. It's quite subtle to begin with, i'd like to say I don't see it coming but in all honesty I think I do. I just won't say no to him. Why?! I can't get my head around why I become so passive and just go along with it waiting for his big mood and for him to be angry and mad again.
Sometimes I think he does it to let me know, yearly, just how shit I am in case I have forgotten. Then I think that's pretty egocentric and the truth is he doesn't give enough of a shit about me to bother to do that. Then I think it doesn't matter why he does what he does what matters is I let him. Every. Fucking. Time.
I just want to get off this treadmill, but I don't, so there must be a part of me that is hell bent on staying on it, despite the cost to me and DC (who are getting older, this is becoming their norm)
Any advice? Honestly i'm in a worse position now then I was when I left.

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