Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

WWYD - old friend

(6 Posts)
Timeforteaplease Mon 13-Feb-17 18:06:10

About 5 years ago I gave up on an old friend of thirty years standing because our friendship just became one-sided. We would meet for a drink and it would be 2 hours of her talking about herself, with the odd half-hearted question about my life thrown in towards the end. If I answered with more than one sentence, her eyes would glaze over with boredom. So I just gave up.
Recently my DD (late teens) fallen out with one of her long term friends and I tried to give her good advice about how to deal with it. I realised that I had not followed my own advice with my friend - I had just cut her out in sheer frustration. I never explained how I was feeling or gave her chance to change.
I do not have any ill-will towards my ex-friend - I just got bored senseless with the conversation and the lack of support.
I was wondering about getting in contact again - but I am worried it will just be exactly the same.
Would any of you bother trying? And how would you make contact again?

Howlongtilldinner Mon 13-Feb-17 18:11:34

I'm in my fifties now and going over my past friendships, I have very few friends now. I cannot be bothered with meaningless relationships and one sidedness. If she was that bothered, she'd have been in touch. Personally (my opinion only) I'd leave it just how it is. It can be upsetting though..

flowers

HeyYouYesYou Mon 13-Feb-17 18:15:35

Honestly, after 5 years I would leave it.

happypoobum Mon 13-Feb-17 18:42:07

I would leave it.

I did the same thing to someone last year. It had got to the point where I felt a rising sense of panic as she talked "at" me for hours on end. I could feel myself inwardly shouting "make it stop, make it stop"

You have to remind yourself you had a good reason for cutting her out, so unless you have missed her dreadfully I would leave it be.

Huskylover1 Mon 13-Feb-17 19:09:17

Nope, I would just leave it. I hardly contact one of my old friends now, because all she talks about is her daughter (who is fecking 18!). It is her only topic of conversation. Literally! You could talk about the moon landing and her darling would have been to the moon last week. Drove me fucking nuts.

springydaffs Tue 14-Feb-17 02:16:40

You may not want to rekindle the friendship but ghosting someone is a horrid thing to do. I've done it myself and I don't feel good about it, so I'm not pointing fingers.

I've done it recently to someone (I was going through cancer treatment so I've kind of got an excuse!) and I did it years ago to someone. I do want to to approach both these people and apologise.

I also ghosted someone else during the aforementioned treatment and I've seen her and apologised. She took it well at the time - insisted it didn't matter, I insisted it did - and she has given me a wide berth since. Fair enough.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now