New guy lied about past - wwyd

[chasingrainbows27]

I'll keep this short.

Met new guy OLD. Have been on a few dates and I like him. I think he likes me a lot.

Last night we got talking about exes.
He confessed he was buying a house with an ex but pulled out just before completion because it didn't feel right for him and he ended things. He told me this was last year.

Me being nosy I've just had a facebook stalk and it looks like this was actually a very long relationship which ended only at Christmas.

Now I have ended a relationship before and quickly got into another and fell head over heels. I do think the person doing the dumping often gets a long head start on being over it. But is this too soon?

[Nomoreworkathome]

Well, technically speaking it WAS last year unless there are more details you have not divulged

[Happybunny19]

But Christmas was last year, so technically he hasn't lied. You're already checking up on him and doubting what he tells you, doesn't bode well so early on. I think you possibly need to slow down and avoid over investing before getting to know someone.

[chasingrainbows27]

Yes it was last year but he made it sound as if it was a long long time ago last year when in fact Christmas is not long at all.

I guess he hasn't lied but I'm not sure about the fact it was a 4 year relationship that ended a month ago...

[Happybunny19]

Then follow your gut feeling (presumably that you're a rebound, which is probably true) and stop now. Can't believe you're checking up after a few dates and posting threads though

[Ordinarily]

Perhaps he was playing it down to make it sound relatively unimportant, to show he's moved on and likes you now?

[SparklyMagpie]

You're checking up on him already?! He hasn't technically lied?

Forget it OP, you shouldn't be social media stalking full stop

Clearly don't trust him as you had to investigate

Let him go

[chasingrainbows27]

How would I distrust him? I'm seeing other people too but I like him. I don't distrust him.

I was just curious I guess. I'm trying to save myself a load of heartache..

He does seem to like me and is very complimentary. I have been in a dead relationship before for a long time then met someone else straight after and wouldn't have said I was on the rebound so I guess it happens.

[SparklyMagpie]

" how would I distrust him?" he told you the situation with his ex and you had to go and snoop on Facebook! That's how you distrust someone, you didn't take his word and left it, after a few dates.

He could be on the rebound, but if you have to check what he's saying is truthful or not then that's not a great start is it

Is this going to be one of those " AIBU?" Us: " yes" OP " no I'm not " threads?

[chasingrainbows27]

No it's not but it's not that he lied that's bothering me. Maybe I phrased the thread wrong.

Maybe it's more advice on whether it's worth dating someone who is just out of a long term relationship.

[SparklyMagpie]

He hasn't technically lied to you though

If you're asking yourself that question, then you already have your answer

If you liked him that much you wouldn't ( no offence, there's no problem with it ) be seeing other people either

I think you're just going to end up with more and more questions, so maybe it's best you end it before its begun

[isseywithcats]

i met my now partner online on POF when we had been dating for a while i asked him how long he had been single between me and his last 5 year relationship, my jaw hit the ground when he said one week but three years later we are happy and live together hasten to add we did take thing slowly i wasnt rushing into anything

[NotTheFordType]

but pulled out just before completion because it didn't feel right

hur hurr hur.

[TheNaze73]

I think he's done nothing wrong & the problem here is yourself. I think it's way too soon for him to be dating but, he's not lied.

[chasingrainbows27]

As I said I'll rephrase;

Would it bother you to date someone that had just finished a 4 year relationship? If they were the 'dumper'? (Yes I do think that makes a difference).

[MsStricty]

Yes, OP, I would consider the recent ending of a 4-year relationship a no go.

[InTheMoodForLove]

I think it would bother me that someone pulled out near completion as I would question his personality and ability to set clear boundaries and speak his mind. I mean, one doesn't get to nearly buy a house by fluke.

But its really early days for overthinking, and if I liked him I would most probably want to get to know him and form an opinion by myself over a few more dates. I would keep dating and looking.